I Dropped the Ball

So, for the last couple weeks, I haven’t been able to eat.  Strike that.  I haven’t been eating a whole lot.  I made myself eat because I knew my body needed it, but if I didn’t get anything, it wasn’t a big deal.  So, apparently the hunger strike broke yesterday because just before I went to class at 3, I had a bagel with some cream cheese.  Not five hours later, I wanted to chew my own arm off.  I went to the store to get some lettuce and other things to make a nice, healthy salad.  I ended up wanting everything on the shelves (I didn’t buy it, thank God).  I distinctly remember telling a friend on the phone, while I was in the condiment aisle, "I’m so hungry right now, I want to open one of these BBQ sauce bottles and drink it."
How sad and sick is that?

So, I also had the unfortunate experience of remembering that yesterday was Ash Wednesday, which made Tuesday, Paczki (pronounced "POONCH-kee") Day, or (for you Americans) Fat Tuesday, and I had not had a donut.  Never have a revelation like that when you’re starving.  So, to make the most of my money, I picked out three donuts (really just because I couldn’t decide which one I wanted).  I ate the sour cream donut in the car on the way home, along with a quarter of the can of "Salsa Verde" Pringles I bought.  Schwa can tell you that I buy cans of Pringles for the cans themselves – they make great cans to put fresh-baked cookies in for shipping to those you care about.  However, so as not to waste my dollar, I bought the green chips because they were new and I figured I’d end up trying them anyway.  And I did.  On the way home.
How sad and sick is that?

To make matters worse, after I got home, I still wanted the salad.  It was a tuna apple salad, made with albacore (the good stuff – white, hearty tuna), and I was really craving the vegetables and fruit.  So, what did I do?  I sure enough chopped the apple and the vegetables and got the salad ready.  But here’s the worse (Yes, I meant "worse" – read the beginning of the paragraph) part – I ate another donut, the longjohn, while I was getting dinner ready.
How sad and sick is that?

I never do that.  Even when I’ve had cravings, the most I’ve ever done is gotten a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell or a Homewrecker from Moe’s.  I don’t go balls out on donuts and chips and crap that is not good for my body.  The weird thing is that I woke up this morning and I felt like I have for the past two weeks – no desire to eat whatsoever.  And it’s pretty much been that way all day…I ate a salad just before class, and then had some salmon cakes and another salad after I came home. 

The good thing about this is that at least now, food doesn’t sound bad.  I don’t mind cooking and I’ll even eat the food if I cook it.  At one point in the last two weeks, I started to cook something and stopped and ran up the road and got Chinese takeout because I knew if it was already cooked, I would just stick it in my face and not have to worry about whether I really want it or not.  Cooking the food, I’d have to determine how much I really wanted the food and I’d end up throwing it out as soon as it was cooked.
How sad and sick is that?

Anyway, things are partially back to normal.  I have a desire to go workout in the mornings – not that I had quit going, but I certainly had no strength to do so.  I enjoy cooking and food for its own sake again.  (I was seriously worried that I’d never get to eat sushi again.)  In fact, I’m going to cook for a couple friends this weekend.  Rachael Ray’s "You Won’t Be Single For Long" Vodka Cream Pasta.  Laugh if you must, but she cooked it on the Oprah show and it looked SO yummy, so I wanted the recipe.  Anywho, things are looking up in the nutritional sector.
How sad and sick is that?
No, wait…

Screenplay for my life:  Family Guy