Forgiveness

I forgive you. I release you. I let you go from my heart. I set you free. You have no further claim upon my soul.

These are the words provided through the Chopra meditation on letting go of pain. It is a guided mediation in which you visualize the person you are unable to forgive. You may be unable to forgive them for so many reasons. When you hold on to that pain, loneliness, hate, or victimization you are only allowing toxicity in your life.

I have been unlucky in love… mostly because of trust. How could someone love me? Why wouldn’t they break my heart? The person I loved and trusted the most in the world did, why wouldn’t others do the same? So, I blame the person that broke it. I blame those who unwittingly grabbed onto those heartstrings and wouldn’t let go.

Last night, I realized I was giving to much power to these people. They don’t know how bad it hurts… they don’t know the damage they have done. Why? Because I am giving them more claim than they ever knew they had. It’s time to set them free. I forgive them all. I had a choice and I hung on. They didn’t and I am left with the aching. I am left with the affects. I am left as the victim because I was unable to forgive. I was unable to see that I had given so much power away. Don’t get me wrong, I forgive for behaviors on a daily basis. This is deeper.

I didn’t understand how powerful the words at the beginning of this diary were. Cutting the strings that bind you to pain. Release… and breathe for you are free!

I thought I was done with the forgiving… long ago I had forgiven the one who nearly destroyed me, my father. I had thanked him and the universe many times for the horrible experience, because it made me who I am today. And if I hadn’t gone through it, I would be in a very different world. The freedom that came with it was amazing, empowering.

What I learned last night though is that are several people that I have to learn to forgive in order to set myself free. It will take some time to let them go. Remembering them, remembering why I hold onto them, learning to forgive, finding the lesson and appreciating who I have become because of them. I am excited to step into a new world.