i need someone

i need someone i can depend on.

i dont care about my grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization. i jsut need to type and keep myself from going crazy.

i can barely see the computer screen, im crying too much.

i have no one right now.

sure i have “friends”. but they’re all so fickle. i love them to death but im the last on their lists. im sorry that i dont go out drinking every other night like you guys do or that i dont like to go hook up wtih a thousand million people or that your other friends are perverted and incredibly immature and i grew up at a young age.
i cant count on any of them.

holdon i feel like im going to puke again.

work is insane. i hate retail but until the sumemr ends i have to deal with it. i have absolutely no choice.

i cant trust him anymore. three years and one month. hell, we didnt even acknowledge the one month when we always do. hey wiat that was one of the days thatt he ignored me. k.
i cant take it. i cant i can ti anct. he makes plans then something comes up. i dont care if its shis fault or not he should check with his parets about hanging out before if he doesnt knw for sure. im completely independent except for living in my house. i pay my own bill,s i feed myself, etcetc.
if hed have fucking gotten a job two months ago when he got out of school which he flunked out of it would have worked.
he wold nt have todo all this bs at home and he could have money instead of me havin to spend most of it. wtv, i dnt mind much but it does get annyoing.
if he acutally appliled for cuny instead f wanting to stay at that fucking helhole of a school. if he worked a bt. if he wasnt so lazy and actuayll finished painting the batheroom hes been working on for three – four weeks id be able to see hjim tomorrow tat i got so nice and shaven and prettyed up for him. but course not his parent shad to come in and yell at himm.
then he had the audacity to yell at me for getting upset htat he cancelled plancs ONCE AGAIN
uhm
hello
its summer vacation
I EXPECT TO SE EHIM MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK1
but course not
because he doesnt do anything he has to

i need osmeone i can fucknig depend on. i cant take this.
im going insane. i cant trust anyone. i just need a friend who will be there.