I like to whine

You know what’s weird? Salad. Who first thought it’d be a good idea to cover a pile of leaves with sauce?

Well, busy as usual. I’m at the park from 9am-6pm today (it’s beautiful out, though there are mosquitoes everywhere), then have to go to the co-op from 730-midnight for inventory. 13.5 hours plus travel time! Yeah, every 4 months or so the employees have to work a late night shift, counting every single product in the store and entering it into the computer. I’m a team leader again (which I still think is kindof silly–I was a team leader the first time I ever went to an inventory, because I guess a lot of the long-time employees there are incompetent and can’t be put in charge. Whatev.), which isn’t really a very complicated position. I basically just tell people what to do and what not to do, and then we work. That’s the way I prefer it at least–for them to shut up and get the job done. People there have a bad habit of talking for a long time and neglecting their duties, which leaves other people with more work to do. It makes me want to shake them. I will just never understand the work ethic (or lack thereof) of some folks.

I think I’ll probably end up moving my bed into Tom’s place within the next few days. We hardly ever see each other when we’re not sleeping (he works a little over 40 hours a week and I usually do about 55-60, his hours mostly in the evenings and at night and mine mostly during the day), and it will be really nice to have a kind of home base where we can relax. I mean, I’ve obviously got other obligations I need to fulfill and I plan to do that, but I’ve been getting a little burnt out lately and am mostly interested in doing what makes me happy. I know the timeline of our relationship might seem weird or unconventional to some, and I do realize from an objective viewpoint that it seems a bit crazy. I’ve thought about all of these things, and I didn’t think I’d be a chick to get into this situation. It makes me happy though, and one of the most frustrating things is feeling the need to rationalize or justify how I feel and what I’m doing. I mean, I can’t. I’ve thought about how crazy I must seem, but ultimately each relationship moves at its own pace and has its own dynamic. What else is there to say? I don’t see a need to operate based on the preferences of others, and I know that the people I care about are supportive. How can people justify being judgmental about such a personal issue when they don’t even really know you and they only see you (and don’t even really talk to you) at work?

Speaking of that, I’m thinking of quitting the co-op within the next few weeks. There is just so much going on in that place. Also, from a different perspective it isn’t really a resume builder. I mean, a college degree, a move to California and a year of AmeriCorps service involving urban forestry and grassroots organizing, working for a County Parks Dept., and… a grocery store? Not that it’s a bad job, I just… I don’t know. Working at a food co-op is cool, and it would be awesome if the management weren’t complete turd faces, but they are and that place is neither efficient nor fair. I also think it’d be kick ass to work only 35-ish hours a week. Can you imagine? I’d have time (or most importantly, energy) to visit family, see friends, pursue creative outlets, blah blah blah. I want to take pictures of cool animals and create more ugly stuffed toys. And just think of all the snacks I could eat! I know that it would affect my income by a lot (yowch!), but I’m thinking it might be worth it.

In other news, I haven’t been sleeping well lately and would like to apologize if I sound like a huge complaining whiny face. I feel like there has been a lot of negativity surrounding me and in my personality lately, and I think shedding that job will maybe take some of that away. I just don’t know exactly when to quit, because each week I work there is another paycheck.

What else is there for me to complain about? Umm….

Okay, I’ll stop. Things are basically fine and I have lots that I should be appreciating.

So, here’s a picture from cuteoverload.com:

Now I’m going to get back to work, eat some cheese ravioli and maybe do some reading. Hope all’s well!