Things I’m cranky about

Well, it looks like I’ve stumbled onto another brand new day. You know what that means: I am continuing my quest to someday be the most cranky person in the entire world. Really. Everything is getting on my damn nerves today, but that isn’t anything new. Reading articles on websites run by militant atheists made me cranky (proselytism!), as did holey underwear, slow loading web pages, water, weird smells, long fingernails, hunger pains, the sun, PEOPLE WHO STILL THINK OBAMA IS A MUSLIM, and basically everything else. If you’re offended by anything I say we can talk about it, though I’m just ranting.

Militant atheists: Seriously, shut up! Believing beyond doubt that there is no god is an act of faith, and in my opinion, all things religious/spiritual should be a matter of self reflection. I’m not religious but also don’t think I have all of the answers (nobody really has the answers about stuff like this, so what), and completely respect people who are religious as long as they aren’t total douchebags. Basically, I think people can learn so much from one another, and my idea for a perfect society involves people being more interested in what others have to say.

Trust me, I get as ticked off as anyone when religion plays a direct role in public policy (which is terribly complicated and I don’t really want to get into it, because that discussion and discussions linked to it could go on into infinity). I will say this: people need to get over their fear of gay marriage. There’s nothing wrong with it, so just sit back and deal. I DON’T CARE WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS–leave the Bible out of it and look into the faces of the people you’re discriminating against. Gah!

Holey underwear: I wish underwear lasted forever for my convenience. I don’t know what they would have to be made out of, but hopefully it wouldn’t be poisonous.

Slow loading web pages: I hate Firefox. I would usually use it any day over Internet Explorer, but it’s just been loading too slowly (it takes like half an hour to open), and decides to stop responding too frequently for me to care much longer.

Water: I discovered, after I put my hand into something wet, that my trusty Nalgene bottle was leaking in the general vicinity of my computer. NOT COOL Nalgene bottle, not cool.

Weird smells: How do you know if you stink? I have been smelling something stinky, but it’s probably because I haven’t done laundry in a long time. A pleasant anecdote I should probably tell at parties: I didn’t bathe much in middle school, and I realized once in gym class that I smelled like old peanut butter. I’m sure a took a shower later that day.

Long fingernails: I KEEP CUTTING THEM AND THEY KEEP GROWING

Hunger pains: Seriously body, I’m far from starving. So what if I don’t eat for a few hours? You don’t have to remind me of it! You shouldn’t start hurting until I need food. I’m sure there’s some science to that that might be pretty interesting, but I’ll look it up later.

The Sun: It hurt my eyes when I looked outside earlier. All is forgiven.

PEOPLE WHO STILL THINK OBAMA IS A MUSLIM: I really can’t talk to you.

So that’s basically it. I’m not working today, so have been entertaining thoughts of productivity with no progress to show for it. It’s Christmas Eve, and tomorrow I’m going to wake up and open my present: a new president. I will also probably rent out skis to people and get scratched by a turtle.