Usual business

It’s 9am and I’ve been awake for far too long, especially considering how exhausting this past week had been for me. I dozed off for a little while yesterday evening, then was awake from 11pm-2am chatting with Paul (off and on) while he waited around at the airport before his flight left. I was just anxious I guess, knowing he’s travelling to Peru and also knowing I won’t be able to talk to him on the phone for about a month. We should still be able to email though, so that’s good.

Talking to him every day has become such a habit, or ritual, over the past 3 1/2 years or so. We really never go too long without talking, so I’m kindof sad that I won’t hear his voice for such a long time. We’re just so good at reading and comforting each other, and I’m going to miss that kind of therapy while he’s away. I am excited for him though since he’s never been to South America, and I’m happy that he’ll have some internet access to tell me about his adventures.

I’ve been awake since about 530am. I should be more sleepy but I’m just not. I’ve spent a lot of time watching shows online this morning, trying to distract myself from who-knows-what and avoiding things I need to get done. I have very recently (like, 10 minutes ago) started to complete my paperwork for the new Americorps program… specifically, writing about why I’m interested in certain service activities. They have a list of types of service that I’m supposed to choose from, and I’m having trouble deciding between a few. I guess instead of picking things I might enjoy, I’m trying to think about how each type of service activity (community organizing, conflict resolution, criminal justice, mentoring, etc.) will affect the entire rest of my life. Perhaps that’s a little too much pressure to put onto this little blurb I’m writing about my interests. Wee!

I think I should start, sometime, to go through my stuff and get rid of what I don’t need. I am moving around too much without a stable/permanent residence in my forseeable future, so it doesn’t make sense for me to hold onto a lot of things I don’t use. I have a hard time letting things go though, because I automatically think of how I got something (stuffed animals, blankets, certain items of clothing) and can’t bear to part with them. I guess I’ll have to suck it up..

I really hope I’ll have at least one driving buddy to go back to Indiana with me. I know flights aren’t cheap, and I don’t want to make anyone strain themselves financially just because of my anxiousness. I would REALLY appreciate having someone to help with the driving though, and to keep me company, and I can assure you that there is a TON of beautiful scenery along the way–mountains, plains, valleys, whatever you can imagine. PLUS YOU GET TO VISIT CALIFORNIA WOOOO PARTY CENTRAL!

::Sigh:: I don’t know why I’m so down today. Eh, well, it’s probably because I know I won’t be able to talk to Paul for awhile, and I’m wondering if a move to NY is what’s best for me. Well, I guess it’s impossible to know what’s "best". I’m kindof nervous about entering another year of Americorps service though, after experiencing the stress that comes along with it.

Oh well, enough about that!

I have today off of work, woo! I have a 4 day weekend for the 4th of July but have NO IDEA what I’m going to do. Everyone else has plans, and I guess it will be depressing to just sit here for 4 days. Any ideas?

Well, I’m out of things to say for now. You guys should update more!