Ticked off *edit

So I’m kindof a little ticked. I’m the kind of person that constantly tries to rationalize or justify any negative emotional reaction I have to a certain event, and that sometimes makes venting or explaining problems more complicated than it should be. Oh well!

I’m just a little hurt because Paul said today that he wouldn’t be surprised if I was sleeping with guys here. He said, "Well you’re female and guys like you". So? It just bugs me because he’s known me for a really long time (and we dated for 3 years of course) and I don’t know why he would expect something like that from me. Well, expect isn’t the right word. He said he wouldn’t guess that I was, but that it wouldn’t surprise him. What does that even mean? He was really kindof being an ass about it too, and I asked him why he would say that. He replied, "I don’t know. I guess I’m just lonely and I want to make sure you’re lonely too". Sure I’m lonely, lonely because he decided things wouldn’t work out between us. He decided I wasn’t worth fitting into his future plans. What right does he have to make me feel bad? I feel bad that he doesn’t have people to regularly hang out with there, but I can really only do so much. Sorry I have cool people that I work with and people to hang out with. God.

He said he wasn’t meaning to give me a hard time. I asked him if he really wasn’t meaning to give me a hard time, or if he did want to give me a hard time. He said he did. It bugs the hell out of me, and I feel like I have a right to feel this way. I’m sorry he’s lonely but we’re friends and he shouldn’t take his problems out on me. It’s not fair. I try my best to be supportive of him.

I feel like crying. ::sigh:: I guess I’ll go for a walk.
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EDIT:
This is a link I wanted to post, but didn’t want to create another entry for it.

This is a questionnaire that is supposed to tell you which candidate you are most in common with. I got Barack Obama. Sweet.

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January 14, 2008

he sounds selfish, you should talk to me. 🙂 dont feel bad.

January 14, 2008

*Sigh*, sounds like he is trying to dig the past in like a wound. You’ve got to love men. Always saying the wrong thing. It’s harsh, but it’s more reflective on him than you. Back story – really bad home life when I was younger, mum was manic depressive, and emotionally cold…threw me out at sixteen and moved to Lanzarote by the time I was 18 chasing after a man, leaving brothers behind. xx

January 15, 2008

Oh honey I’m so sorry. I can’t believe he said that, after everything else. I wonder if he wants to make you feel bad because deep down he feels like a bad guy? Sigh. I don’t know. *hugs*

January 15, 2008

gah! ::pokes Paul to death:: wtf is wrong with him?!

January 15, 2008

i like your new picture on the side there up there…