What the hell is wrong with the world?

So I dont know.. a news story really got to me today. The night before last, a girl who lived in a town by me, 17 years old, was abducted when she got off of work, she was beaten and killed.. I guess by some people she knew.. They beat her, shot her, and set her on fire.. it really upsets me. And before that, not even a week ago, one of my old friends from Georgia killed himself. And of course earlier this summer a guy from my class was killed in a car wreck. I know it must happen all the time around the country, but I dont get it. How messed up are things when I have to think really hard before going outside at night? And why is it that a girl is trying to just live her life, and gets murdered? And why is it that poor Preston had to feel he was dealing with so much that he had to blow his brains out? I felt really, really bad, because when I was in Georgia I saw him working in WalMart.. I was thinking of saying hi to him, but I didnt. He looked a little sad, but I didnt think into it too much.

And it affects me a lot more since I got my new attitude towards everything.. I just dont see the world as cynical and evil like I used to. It sucks because I can see a beautiful potential in everything, but everyone else never sees it.. and many of them are fucked up enough to do awful things. Not to mention all the shit going on that none of us ever hear about..

And if I believed in a hell, which I dont, I would hope that the people who murdered that girl would rot there.. and if I believed in some magical and mystical, fairy tale land of a heaven, which I dont (at least not like the bible stuff..) I would hope that the people I mentioned in this entry are all there, along with every other person who has had life ripped away from them. And if youre wondering what I believe in, since I dont believe in heaven and hell, I cant explain it. It would take forever. But still, I believe all of them are still around, and will be fine..

But I still havent lost any faith in the whole beauty of life, and beauty of the world thing. Life in itself is more beautiful than I feel a majority of people could realize. And why do I realize it so fully, and completely? I have no idea.. but nobody knows how deep my feelings about this stuff is.. I feel like Ive finally found all the answers I need.. and my only wish is that everyone else could figure out how to do the same.. let go of the petty things, and just live.. And if I sound like a hippy, I dont care in the least bit.. I only wish you could all realize, sooner or later. Until then, things are fine with me.