The Amish make crappy chicken-Pt.2

But then I went upstairs to see what my mom was doing.. roger had only wanted to borrow $5 so he could put gas in his car. (Having to clean out the rocks!! HAHA) Then I went upstairs.. and I did something for awhile. I cant remember. Then I remember they were arguing again, he was complaining about my moms actions and parenting style, and how wrong she was. After awhile I went downstairs, and Roger started asking me questions like how I handled things with Sara (my ex-stepmom).I told him I quite frankly didnt remember, because I was only like 3 when she came into my life. And he asked how I handled things with her when I was like 9, but by then I had grown up with her and was quite used to her. I cant remember ever thinking she didnt have the right to tell me what to do. Probably because she always treated me like a daughter, and still does though my dad and her arent married. Though she is my half brothers mom and my other “brothers” mom. Then he tells me how truly sorry he is for everything that I had to go through with him, and how he reaallly was sorry if he ever hurt my feelings. He said he thinks highly of me, and in a way like Im the daughter he didnt get a chance to have. He said no guy would ever be good enough for me, and it was funny because he said “If any guy ever hurt you, you’d really see my dark side. Well, my REAL dark side.” And he was asking about my future and blah blah.. basically, a nice sappy conversation. He also said how independant and strong I was (strange hearing it from him) and he was just telling me a bunch of stuff.. sure he was being sincere, but I still cant forget all the shitty stuff hes done. ESPECIALLY TO MY SISTER AND MY MOTHER.NOT INCLUDING ME. My mom foremost.. hes always trying to change her and stuff.. saying shes a bad parent and not guiding us, and saying stuff to make her cry. DAMN HIM TO HELL. I like to be truthful, and often blunt, so I told her to kick him out. She didnt really say anything.

Then after a nice time of bonding with people in different ways, I asked my mom repeatedly to go somewhere. We went to the store. BUT she did get me some brownie mix because I like brownies. And I got some Starburst. I came back and made the brownies.. and then heard more of Roger and my mom arguing! Its SO stupid! He needs to shut the hell up and leave her alone! Her parenting is FINE!! And hes a dick! I did make the brownies, though! Then a while later, my Grandpa cameafter spending 2 days with my aunt. Roger went to bed I guess, to nap before work. I went downstairs because my grandpa is really funny. Roger called my mom, and I told grandpa that Roger was cranky.. my sister said “How can you tell?Hes always like that!” So it was funny. Oh yes, and after a little while i went upstairs, and they went to work.. grandpa is asleep on the couch right now and Ive just been typing away for like an hour.

But I have really changed.. the whole time I wasnt really angry at all.. just really rational and unbelievably mellow. Even with all the shit going on, I was still happy and singing to my cd and dancing. Its quite unbelievable, how different I am from even a year ago. I just dont fret with the stupid stuff, and Im just really happy within myself. I mean damn, I love myself more than I ever did before. Im just happy with everything around me, too much to be bitter and hateful. Im content with ME, which is a hard thing to accomplish. Im happy being alive, and .. well, Im just mellow. Screw all the negative feelings. Yes, I know, Im damn cool. I am happy with myself. Yeehaw! Its a great feeling. You all should stop complaining and try it sometime!

OH yeah, I saw Eric drive by today. He didnt have a shirt on. I was like “Hm”. And I walked in the house. I feel so nice not having the restraints of a boyfriend. I like being single. I feel so much stronger.

Hah! Thats enough of an entry for now! Farewell, people who actually read all of this!!