My thoughts exactly one year ago

I have my journal here.. I mean, the one I actually WROTE in, and didnt type.. in it, theres an entry from October 4th,2000.. and I thought it was pretty interesting to see what I was thinking EXACTLY one year ago.. here is the entry, for your reading pleasure!

~Wednesday~ 10-04-00

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There was a 1/2 day of school & its like 1:20 pm right now. I been confused about Brent, not sure if I should be going out with him right now or not. Allison broke up with Ryan (Yandell, not Rice..) last night & she was telling me about it this morning & then I talked to Ryan at lunch and at 1st he said he was in a shitty mood, which I understand, and we hung out @ lunch for a little bit and he asked me what I was doing tonight and I said I dont know so he asked me for my # and I gave it to him and he said hed call later. Hmmm does it sound like he likes me? Heh, I know he @ least thinks Im hot cuz when he was talking me into asking Aaron out, he said “C’mon, I guarantee he wont turn you down, cuz I mean you’re hot!”. Im not expecting him to call tonight though, cuz hes a guy. I dont wanna be Ryans rebound tho. Oh well I’ll figure all this out later.Oh yeah Adam asked me out last Friday after Aaron broke up with me & I just said “I’ve already got somebody else to go out with”, even tho I lied, but I just dont like him and I didnt wanna hurt his feelings by saying “No, I dont like you” … I hope Ryan calls, but Im not expecting it. I should just end it with Brent bcuz that relationship is practically worn out and hanging on by a thread. Ugh Im so confused!~~K, its later and I got Brent to say we’re just friends. So Im single! It didnt feel like we were really going out anyway.

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And that was the entry! I cant believe how stupid I sounded in some parts.. and lets see if I can tell you all what happened after I wrote that entry.. well, Ryan did call, and we hung out a lot.. we could have been a couple, but I realized that I just didnt like him, mostly because he was a druggy, and I hate that, and like my friend Mike said, he looks like a chipmunk with nuts and berries stuffed in his mouth. So we stayed tight for awhile, with the flirting and shit, but we lost contact after awhile and I havent talked to him in months.. I think he moved to Oklahoma. *shrugs* And as for Brent, as most of you know, we ended up getting back together not too long after that, and our relationship dragged on for like 8 or 9 more months, until finally coming to a conclusion sometime before or during the summer. Oh well.. I have written enough.. I am tired! Blah! Cyaz!