Snoring

At around midnight last night (or is that, technically, today?), I took the used coffee mugs with me on my way upstairs, rinsed out the coffee pot & mugs in the kitchen, and went to bed.  Cleaning up in the kitchen is almost always the last thing that I do around the house before bedtime.  Well…  at least…  MY bedtime.  Who knows what time my wife comes to bed?

At 3:30am, I woke up for some reason…  maybe because of a loud TV commercial.  Yes, the TV was still on, and my wife was not in bed yet.  This is a semi-regular occurrence on days when she does not "have to" get up early the next morning.  She’ll stay downstairs in the family room until 3 or 4am, doing whatever (I really don’t know what).  I turned the TV off and went back to sleep.

At 8am, I woke up because my youngest daughter opened the bedroom door to see whether I was still in bed or not.  My wife was snoring next to me.  I got out of bed and started my day.

That’s how it goes.  I’ve gotten used to it.  I just do my own thing and try to keep the kids from waking her up.  When she falls asleep on the couch at 1pm or takes a nap on our bed, I have to do the same thing…  hush the kids so she can sleep.

I read somewhere that spouses shouldn’t "keep score" – at least not beyond a mental tally in one’s mind (mentally, haha).  Keeping score is dangerous because everyone has an idea of what "fair" is, and it’s not the same definition for everyone.  Bringing up "how unfair it is" that she gets to sleep 4-6 hours more per weekend day than I do is not gonna happen.  It will only lead to a broader argument about all the other crap that is "so unfair" in her life.

Yes, I resent her for how she’s so distant and aloof and sleeping "all the time."  I dislike how she’s "expecting" me to be a good parent to the kids while she’s sleeping.  All of these problems make up part of the mental barriers that are getting in the way of us having a good marriage.

I know that she has her reasons for being like she is.  I just wish that she would share them with me.  Wait, no…  I don’t need to hear them.  I just need her to wake up and start participating in the family more than 30% of the time.

If only it were that simple.