Had A and”The” talk.

Well I finally got him to sit down and talk too me. We did a lot of talking then to. I can’t remember when I was so happy, we talked about my job, his job, about how are friends are, how we see the world in the next 5 years, I tried my hardest to yet him know I still love him and I want this to work. He kind of gave me the same thing, but then again it didn’t seem like he cared.

I didn’t want to bring up what I needed to, but in the end I had to. He wasn’t honesty with me at first. He was saying how he was just talking to them, that nothing was going on, that I am just thinking bad things… you name it he probemly said it, but I looked him right in the eyes and asked him if he was cheating on me with one or all of those girls.

My heart stopped when he looked at me with his eyes saying what his heart couldn’t. I’m sure some of you know what look I am talking about. Once I saw that look all I could so was cry, and I asked him again through my tears and I told him that I want him to answer me, I want him to tell me what I already know. It took him a few minutes to say it and when he did he started crying and said he was sorry.

I asked him why, he couldn’t give me an answer, all he said was “I don’t know, it just happened, and I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would have hurt you.” He is right about that, but it hurts me more that he didn’t tell me and I had to see it. I also asked how long it was going on for, after the first time, if there were any other times. He said ”There where a few times after, but not many, all we did was talk mostly about how I was feeling about it and how I didn’t want you to know, because I love you and I couldn’t stand the thought of you being hurt.” Once he started saying all this he started to cry even harder so it took him longer to say it then need be.

I wasn’t to go over to him so bad and hug him and tell him that it was going to be ok, but I knew that I couldn’t do that, because it wasn’t going to be ok. He tried his hardest to get me to give him another chance, but I didn’t think it would have been a good idea, but in my heart I wasn’t to so BAD. I told him that I needed some time, we didn’t time apart, and maybe after a little white we can see if we can work it out and get back together, but that’s if I want to and if you still would want to.

He can always get another girl, he doesn’t have a problem with getting girls, but he doesn’t want anyone but me he says. I hope we can get through this, but I don’t know if I could ever trust him again not to do this to be a second time. So needless to say I no longer have my one and only love. Me and S*G lost are loves and don’t think we will ever get them back.

Anyway, I thought I would keep the people who do read my diary up to date on what is going on in my shit life. I hope you all are having a better time than I am.

Want Some Sexual`Pleasures