Bondage
In about a month my mate and I will (most likely) be experimenting with bondage and that sort of thing. He knows how far I will go,what I like,and all that sort of thing,and he has always been very careful not to hurt me (even in deep throating,it’s constantly ‘are you sure you’re okay hun?’). continued next note However,I’m worried about two things. The first being that if I yelp too loudly,I may scare or worry him. The second mostly being that I’ve never done this sort of thing and to my knowledge,neither has he. He likes the noises I make (he’s playful-he loves to poke and tickle me to listen to me squeal and squeak). oops,continued again. -so I don’t want to restrain noise. We have good communication between one another,and we’ve already talked all of this out. Do you have any tips on how to reassure without losing ‘the mood’? And any tips in general on how to get ready for this sort of thing?
And I really have to learn to hit the unsigned note button.
First thing I want to say is, it is good that you two have talked about this before hand. That is one thing people don’t do and when it comes to BDSM (Bondage) communicate is a key when it comes to this. Talking before hand is the best thing to do, so you did one step when it comes to this.
Also, this is another thing that is important when it comes to BDSM, before you start anything at all, you need to come up with a safe word. I safe word is a word that you will use to tell your partner to stop. You can always use stop if you want, but it is best to get another word that way it doesn’t get confusing if you happen to say something like “Don’t stop”. Saying don’t stop is a good thing, I’m not saying it isn’t, but the safe word is something that when you say it then stop what they are doing, no matter what it is. So talk it over with each other and come up with a safe word, one that you don’t normally use when you have having any kind of sex.
You may want to talk about who is going to be the Dom and who is going to be the Sub….Who will be the Master/Mistress and who will be the Slave. If you want your partner do be in control, or do you want to have some control, What do you want to get out of this experience.
Since this is your first time don’t worry to much about losing “the mood”, just try a few things that you would like to try out. Don’t do to much for your first time. You don’t want to over do your self your first time, you want to me able to remember what you liked best and what you didn’t like, so just start off with a very few things of what you would want to try out. Get yourselves in the mood before you start doing any BDSM, you don’t want to start off not being in the mood at all, that wont help. Just have fun with each over.
How to get ready pretty much is up to you, just be relaxed don’t worry about it hurting or anything, if there is any pain at all and you don’t like it just use your safe word so he will stop, talk as you go through it all, don’t think you can’t talk why you are trying this out. Even if you make is so your partner is in control, tell him/her before you start that you would want to be able to talk, you want be to able to tell them what you like and don’t like. Keep your mind in the state that you will have fun, that you will be able to stop at anytime you want to, that there isn’t anything to worry about.
Once you both the a better idea of what you like and don’t like you can do a lot more and you wouldn’t have to talk, you could make it where your partner has all the control. Just start off with what you think you can handle at first and go from there.
Here are a few links you can go to and read more up on this to help you out as well.
This are some I have up on here.
http://opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A949744&entry=10132 – Bondage
http://opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A949744&entry=10450 BDSM
http://opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=A949744&entry=10451&mode=date BDSM 2
These are sites I have gotten online.
http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/handb_tw.html -This has a lot of info on it, and it can help you for your first time.
http://www.sexuality.org/bdsm.html – This is the same site, but has a lot of links on it for this.
I hope this helps, Take Care!
Sex*Goddess
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me and my partner have causal unprotected sex, but he pulls out & finishes.. he doesn’t go inside of me. is that in any form, safe? my brain says no, lol but the rest of me says yes. what do you think? thanks a bunch!
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It’s still not safe because there is a thing called pre-cum. I don’t want to scare you, but my friend became pregnant after a few times of doing that. It only takes one sperm, and there is alot of sperm in pre-cum. It’s just as risky as going inside you.
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It helps a lot,actually. Thank you. ^^ and the two of us already realize who’s more submissive and who’s more dominant. As well,he’d already mentioned about safe words. Though I’m glad you did too. Thank you again!
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and to the noter about casual unprotected sex- Just like the other person said. You can easily get pregnant just from pre-cum.
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I know having unprotected sex is not safe, but my boyfriend and I tried it a couple times and now we don’t want to go back to condoms. I’ve been on the pill and i’ve gotten my period,but i’m scared of getting pregnant. He doesn’t putt out anymore, and i’m starting to worry. How do i get myself to just use the condom? Please write back whenever u can! Thanks!
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could you tell me when its real easy to get pregnant like the cycle of ovulation and all that stuff. because i heard at a time in your cycle theres a real low chance of getting pregnant. i’m not sure if thats true or not, but i’d like to know when itd be the safest time to have sex with my boyfriend. ahh!! thanks!
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HELP PLEASE BY THIS WEEKEND: How can I be more passionate? Like I’m scared to touch my bf, and I really love him and I feel bad cause I cant touch him.
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Im on birth control and on the package it says some medications can decrease the effectiveness of the pill…and i am on this anti-depressant called Lexapro its a small dose only 10 ml…i was wondering if you could see if lexapro does decrease bc and other medicines. Me and my bf have unprotected sex and im kindof worried…Thank you so much for helping me with this!!
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Hi, I know you have other stuff up about “first time”, but I didn’t see what I was looking for. So: Which is better/easier/less likely to hurt when having sex for the first time (and the woman is really tight): missionary or woman-on-top?
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Hey Everyone, I can’t seem to be able to stay loged in long enought to post anything so I thought I would come here and let you all know why I haven’t answer any questions… So till I can get signed in and be able to stay signed in to answer questions I have to say I’m not taking questions as of now. I will answer some of the ones in here in notes, but they wont me like I normaly do. S*G
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To the first noter, No that is not safe at all, There could be a time that he can’t pull out fast enough also you got per-cum as well, so if you don’t want to have any kids then you shouldn’t do that, plus there is STD’s out there that you can get as well with out a condom. For the other person not using a condom, as long as you are on the pill you are safe not to get pregnant u have a 2% cont…
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chance of getting pregnant. You shouldn’t worry to much about it, but if you want to get back to using a condom then just do it. The only thing I can tell you is to go out and buy some really, you are worring about it, so use them and put your mind at ease, but you don’t have to worry about it as long as you are on the pill and take it like you should. S*G
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The noter asking about ovulation I have some posts up in my FAQ’s page about that, that can answer your question. More passionate… Not being able to touch him I wouldn’t think would be passionate, do you know why you can’t touch him, did something happen to you for you not to be able to touch someone? First you need to find out why you can’t before you can start, but just start off small cont..
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like holding hands, kissing on the cheek, things that you think you can do at first, before you start bigger things. If he loves you back he will wait and help you out with it. Just take it slow, don’t move to fast. Sorry I didn’t get to this in time and sorry I can’t say to much, but notes aren’t easy to answer in. S*G
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The noter about Lexapro, I have looked online for it, but it doesnt’ tell me if it does or not, you can always ask your doctor about it, he/she should know if it does or not. missionary or woman-on-top? This would depends on the person really, but I would say missionary would be easier to do at first, woman on top you go in deeper then missionary, and plus missionary you can lay and relax cont…
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easier. you wouldnt have to worry about how to move, if youa re doing it first and all, you can just relx and take your time when the woman isn’t on top. This is my opinion anyway. Hope this helps you all, sorry that I can’t do better then this, but I can’t. Sorry! S*G Sex*Goddess
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Hi, I just found this site, http://www.naturalmiscarriage.org and I was wondering if there is ant truth to what it says. Either way I thought it may be of intrest.
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I don’t think I’ll ever stop coming here. Anyway. Feel free to just note my diary if you want,if it’s easier. Is it normal to have a bit of blood,along with normal..erm…juices…after masturbating? within a week after your period? And I give up. *just…hits signed note*
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I’m too tight for sex. Got suggestions for loosening up my pussy?
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Hey, I am getting married soon, and both of us have never had sex, we are waitingtill we get married. just wondering which would be the easiest position and some things that we can do to make the night more romantic.. thanks heaps
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this has nothing to do with sex, but i’m a constant reader, so happy thanksgiving to all
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theres this guy i have well … he is my f*ck budy ..he doesnt want a relationship at all but he seems interested in me all his friends say so … i have a boyfriend but i can feel myself falling for him …what do i do im so lost …*note* i havent slept with this f*ck friend since i started dating my b/f .. so im a little worried cuz i am with someone and falling for my old F*ck budy whatdo i do
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