No one wants to be called stupid

I do not like being called stupid. I do not deserve it. What is wrong with someone who thinks this is ok, especially when its within a relationship. I am actually embarassed to even say this, mortified that here i am in a relationship… living with someone, in love with someone… who called me stupid.

Here is the context:

I come home from watching Game of Thrones at a friend’s house. In the bedroom i start changing into my pj’s by taking my shirt off and putting on a tank. So, this is in front of a window with shades open. The windowsill comes just above my breasts, so no one can see any nekkid parts. This is one of his pet peeves- he always says someone is going to see and think its an invitation to stalk me. I am less concerned than he is. Here is what he says (or an approximation):

"You know, you are stupid. You are just inviting it" It being "trouble" i guess.

He storms out of the bedroom and continues his computer stuff in the livingroom. I ignore him and go to bed. My counselor said i should spend less energy getting concerned about these instances. It used to be that i would follow him and get upset that someone would be so unkind.  As of now, i am used to it and it just feels like another mark against him and for moving back to Bellingham where people are positive and loving.

I think he came back and apologised, but i have gotten used to that too. I am not sure it means much anymore. I told him that i would give us a chance if we went to counseling together (which we are). It has been very helpful, but i do not know if what we talk about makes it beyond the counselor’s walls.

And then, there is the thing i have yet to confess, because it was very, very emotionally traumatizing. Another thing that i am embarrassed to say happened to me, in a relationship i am a part of.

*sigh* i miss all my girlfriends in Eugene and Bellingham. I miss the love and the companionship.