Thirty three and a third percent

Somehow 2 of 6 months, or 33.3% of my time as a parental unit has passed. What to say? Life has gotten a little easier. A lot less crazy tantrums (hitting, biting, scratching, punching, kicking). I’ve figured out what consequences work for him (sitting in his room alone). He has a very consistant life in which he knows what is going to happen, what the expectations are, and who will be a part of his life & when. I believe none of this was happening for him with his mother. I fear it will not be changed when we goes back. In fact, from what his mom said the a couple weeks ago, she does not have a job yet. I know that must be hard, in this economy, when you only have a high school diploma, and in a small-ish town where there are limited opportunities.

I wonder if i have aged since having a child? Generally i look almost 10 years younger than i am, but if anything, the stress of being a single mom could give me back those years.

I wanted to write a lot, but i don’t know if i can get the words flowing. Anything new? I am sick. Of course. I wrote a 10 page paper in one day, and lost it the next (damn flash drive ate it). I meet with the prof tomorrow to talk about it. After this week there is only two weeks of school. While on my spring break i would rather be driving down to San Francisco, i will be driving to Idaho so my nephew can see his mom and sister.

My sanity has been maintained by Kevin. I really don’t know what i would be doing without him. I need this in my life. And i have never wanted to need anyone, i had too many issues with being co-dependent when i was younger. Now it feels good to accept that i need someone. December-time, Kevin made me a mix tape and a lyric stands out from it… "we all need somebody to live by." I’ve made a decision. Come to an understanding of sorts. I do believe in love. I do deserve it. I may even believe that you can meet someone you were meant to be with. This works. It’s syncronicity. It’s magical. Whether it’s just  two people randomly coming together at the right time, under the right circumstances, or whether there is some unexplainable undercurrent, i accept this.

So, i am coming to the end of Winter quarter. Almost 3 of 5 quarters of my Masters program completed. If i had been given a good advisor, i could have been done at the end of Spring. It will be nice to have a summer in Eugene, so not too many complaints here. Little Man will be gone by then. Kevin and i can go crazy with all the stuff we can’t really do since i am with child.

Well, it’s late and i am afraid my computer will die before i get a chance to save. Night all.