Rain

There is a lulling sound to the rain on asphalt, temporarily it takes away the incessent heat that seems to continue all the way through night.  Cloudy skies and thunder, my computer is in front of the window, its just me in the office and it’s quiet.  The phone hasn’t rung, people haven’t come to the office and I find myself daydreaming.  These are the moments where I wish there was someone standing behind me that I could sink into.  Rain has always induced cuddling, slow smile snad laugher.  Laughter is such an incredible turn on.  The words matter, yes, but the actions those are what bring me around.

Today began well, so well.  An excellent visit with the doctor that I am doing the weight loss with (and still, I will never be skinny – I don’t want to be) and then a physical with the regular doctor.  My bloodwork is absolutely perfect, everything.

I have been writing more and more lately, of course none seem to really get posted here but I have them saved on my computer.  Those words are my shield, they are me exposed…but at the same time, they hide me.  Its whta the reader, whoeer they are, sees inside the words.  So many people choose to simply see the surface, not even scratching a layer of depth.  Sometimes I like that, but I do wish people would see more.  Ironic, when vulnerability leaves me feeling lonely some days.