the secret life of me
or not so secret. really just had no particular idea as to what to title this entry.
seth and i are still seperated, still not talking. last night i almost got all worked up about it, but cheered up after i went by chili’s to pick up some to go food and sat and talked to roy and jenny for a while. i’m supposed to go out tonight with everyone from work, or maybe just michelle and scott, either way i won’t be sitting at home alone tonight. then tommorow night me and eric are supposed to hang out.
thursday night i went out to the club with megan and got dragged into dancing a few times with john hilliard. i actually had a lot of fun that night. i drove his inebriated butt home and we made grilled cheese sandwiches and hung out for a while. nothing happened, and seeing as theres at least 20 girls who’d love to date him, i didn’t think we were doing anything other than just hanging out. but then he called me four times last night. three before i was off work, and one after i had called back and left a message. i was half asleep and couldn’t find my keys to save my life so i didn’t go but…man was he trying to talk me into coming over and sleeping at his place. he’s not my type. not even close, which is something we discovered from the one date we went on three years ago. so now i have to find a way to go about making that fact clear. he had no reason to think that i would want to go over there last night, except maybe that he knows i don’t like to be alone. and if thats why he wanted to see me, then thats pretty bastard-ish of him. i had really hoped he wouldn’t think twice about me hanging out with him as wanting anymore than a friend, but i guess that was naive of me. its something i don’t look forward to sorting out.
the truth is, i don’t just date and waste my time with guys that i know i have no future with. if i think theres a chance, sure, you might get a date. if i want to be friends, we might hang out. but for the most part once i’ve known you for a certain amount of time, you are either on the list or off the list.
bright side, i did get to see some people i really miss talking to thursday night. i saw jared and shannon, and breana, and a guy named james that i used to work with at chili’s. actually i really liked seeing james, and might even go out of my way to see him again.
well thats enough of my secret life for now..tune in next time for what will hopefully be a happier entry.