The constant emerging and re-emerging

It’s 2018.

I have been married to Mr. Sitar for about a year and a half, now.  We began dating in the autumn of 2012.

I left a painful work environment and embarked on my own personal projects.

Within a few months of getting married, my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and died soon after.

Within a few months of that, my family – which had been under much strain for, well, its whole existence, really – kind of went kaBOOM.

I’ve been seeing a counsellor about many things that marriage, and my dad’s death, brought up from the depths.  This became strictly necessary because I had what I can only call an inner collapse.

Re-reading some of the entries here, I appreciate how much I left unsaid, in an effort to be fair; and I look with compassion at that young Music Shivers and want to tell her, “You’re better than you know.”

(And yeah, I cringe at some of my entries too.  Poor little puppy, chasing butterflies and wanting pats on the head!)