Spring Cleaning

I’ve been busy today with the cleaning of the apartment. I’ve gotten all the hard floors swept, the little bit of carpet vacuumed, and the rugs hung out on the porch to air.

I’ve also hung the fuzzy nakie blanket and my comforter out to air as well since I don’t have a machine big enough to properly wash them. I’ve just got some of the kitchen and the two bathrooms left to do. I’ll get them tomorrow.

I can’t believe I let the place get this bad. I’m surprised Critter let me keep the kids, it was really that bad. I asked her why she didn’t say something, she told me she didn’t want to bitch. I told her I wouldn’t mind, and actually I kind of need her to. I told her I’d explain later if she had time to talk since it was hard to explain in a text without it sounding like I want her to be my mom.

My housekeeping standards are tied directly to my mental well being. It’s weird, I know. The farther away from a depressed state that I am then the higher my standards are, and the reverse is true as well. When I get into a full blown depressive episode things can get gross, but not always. So I guess I’ve been feeling down recently. At least six months, probably longer. There was dust and gunk all up under the sofas, the apartment had started to have a funky smell, there was all kinds of crap in the corners. I’ve got to get the kitchen surfaces cleaned and then hit the bathrooms and I’ll be done.

At any rate, I’m feeling better now, but I don’t know what triggered it, any more than I know what triggered the depressive episode. Probably Queeg but I’ve got no proof. The goober head.

Yes, I’m on my meds, I’ve been taking them regularly, but as those of you who have experienced chronic clinical depression know my ups are never going to be as "up" as a normal person’s and my downs are always going to be worse than a normal person’s as well, so while this might have been "just a rough patch" if I wasn’t depressed it turned out to be something a little more. I’ve got to be careful, this just snuck up on me and if I hadn’t come out of it myself I don’t know where it would have gone. Fortunately I seem to have leveled off before it got any worse than "frat house messy". But that’s still too messy…