Better now (yeah, I know, I’ve said that before)

But I am. At least until the next time I’m not.

Had a good talk with Thumper on the way in to work on Saturday. She says I’m so focused on Critter because I am, to put it politely (she was much more blunt about it), dramatically under-utilizing my talents at my current job. Once I find a job that challenges me I’ll be happy again and someone will stumble into my life and we’ll go from there.

Like what happened when Critter and I got involved. And that’s worked out *so* well.

Ok, I’m only partly better sometimes.

Critter and I talked today while I was driving home and while I was getting ready for bed. We talked about everything under the sun. I asked her if Ember had been mean to her on the phone Saturday night, and she said no. She said Ember had pretty much told her that she needed to do what made her happy, same as I’ve been telling her. I just really wish I was the one that could make her happy. Ember also complained that it was her (Critter’s) fault she (Ember) was having to deal with the emotional fallout from me, and not to be surprised if she gets a little cranky for a few weeks. Ice cream is getting expensive, you see.

K went through her "I Love ____" list a few days ago when he was over at her house. I was on the list again, and he seems ok with it. She’s told him I’m one of her closest friends. Of course he knows we used to date, and he knows she left me and went back to K’s daddy. He seems Ok with that too.

I suppose I’m going to have to give him a name at some point since it seems he’ll be around a while, but that would make it seem like I’m really Ok with this and I don’t know that I am yet. I may never be, not completely.

Maybe I’m not as better as I thought I was.

Damn.