Critter stayed the night

Now that I’ve got your attention…

I’ve been kind of busy lately, but I’m going to try to get back to doing this more often. My landlord suggested a mousetrap, by the way. Yeah, and what happens if the thing gets caught during the day with it getting so hot in here? Who’s gonna let the stink out? And lest you think I’m exaggerating about the heat, there was a day a few weeks ago when it wasn’t even this hot out that I after eating breakfast and going to bed I accidentally left about two inches of milk in the bottom of my glass. When I got up nine or so hours later and went to dump it out when I discovered the glass it came out as a semi-solid. This was one percent milk after only nine hours in my living room. That’s how hot it gets in there when the AC isn’t on, and I can’t run it all the time because it’s a window unit and it starts making weird noises after about six hours running.

I’ve spent a lot of time with Critter this past weekend, she’s had car issues and I’ve been helping her out some. She is definitely not going back to that shop again though: she was quoted $250 parts & labor and told it was two hours worth of work, if she’d drop her car off that night they could get to it first thing the next morning. Six days and seven hundred dollars later she got her car back. S-Dawg’s brother recommended the place so she went there instead of the place she normally goes. She’s so not doing that again. Things were so hectic with the car yesterday and today that rather than trying to get up separately and me driving over to her place to get her and take her to work she stayed the night at my place (the kids are with their grandmother out-of-state). I offered to take the guest room but we ended up sharing my room and my bed. There was no hanky-panky, there wasn’t even any snuggling, but I slept really well. She likes the bed too, this isn’t the same one I had when we were living together, that one is the one in the guest room.

We talked about us a little bit too on Sunday when we had lunch, which was totally unplanned, I just happened to be standing there when she was ready to go. She hates having to put up with K’s dad’s crap but she’s afraid if she stops he won’t watch any of the kids for her, including K. I told her again that I’d help when I could, and she said she was trying not to rely on me because she knows that we both want different things from this relationship right now, and she doesn’t want to seem like she’s teasing me with it by letting me watch the kids or just outright using me. I did ask if her not wanting to be a couple again was a forever thing or a right now thing, and she’s not really sure, so we’re treating it as a right now thing until she decides otherwise. And I’m good with that. I told her that if it became a forever thing she needed to tell me and then I might have to disappear for a bit to get things sorted out in my head and in my heart, but I’d be back eventually,

But I hopped around, back to last night: after we’d gotten in bed and the light was out we were just talking a little, random conversational bits and whatnot, when I told her that I knew she was still cookie dough, but when she became a cookie  and knew what she wanted things would be a lot easier for her. She replied with not even being sure she was cookie dough yet and might just be a bag of flower and some eggs sitting on the counter. We laughed at that a bit and then we fell asleep.

I went to therapy last Thursday and my therapist was impressed with the progress I’ve made in the past three months. She remarked on how I was “linear” now and I kind of snickered a little. It reminded me of the wormhole aliens from DS9 and I could just hear them saying “The ToyMan is linear” in that tone they used. So anyway, she was going to cut me loose after that session but I went ahead and scheduled one more for next month just to make sure but that will probably be my last one.

Ember and I tried to see a movie together Friday night but it didn’t work out. We just didn’t have time to get where we needed to be so we went to the park and walked instead. She wants to find a job in town. Right now she works in the same town the school is in, and driving down there seven days a week instead of three or four is just exhausting. I think she’s looking at getting the EmberCycle re-registered and insured again so maybe that’ll make it more fun to do the drive.

Amber and Jerm had their baby on Wednesday morning after around twelve hours of labor. It’s a boy, 7lb 7oz and 21 inches long. I have been told the name but I can’t think of it off the top of my head. Last I heard everyone was doing well.

I’ll probably see Critter again tonight, but I don’t know for how long. She’s still got her PJ’s and toiletries over here but she really wants to spend some alone time with her car. She’s really happy to have it back. Having to rely on K’s dad and his car was driving her nuts, and we’ve already discussed why she hasn’t asked me to ferry her around. Speaking of ferrying her around, I probably need to go ahead and get a car seat for K for the truck. We ran into a situation on Friday when I was going to take her and the kids to town for some errands and to check on her car (which was supposed to have been done on Thursday) and we realized K’s car seat was, that’s right, in Critter’s car. That shouldn’t be much of an issue from now on but it really is a bit aggravating having to move it from her car to my truck every time we go anywhere. Oh yeah, the reason I drive all the time is her car doesn’t have air conditioning, not sure if I mentioned that. Anyway it isn’t that much and I’m sure that if the situation arises that Critter and the kids and I aren’t spending a lot of time together then I can find something to do with it. I’m going to need one eventually anyway. At least I hope I am…

Anyway, the one I’m talking about getting now is just a basic car seat, and it happens to be the same one Critter bought for her when she outgrew the car seat/carrier combo last year. The one I want for “Junior” is the Alpha Omega Elite by Cosco. It converts from rear-facing newborn, in stages, all the way up to high-back booster. That’s like six or eight years worth of use in one seat. Well worth the hundred seventy bucks they want for it, I think. I was actually saving up to buy one for the truck last year when Critter moved out.

But back to the state of our friendlationship for a second. The reason I still see a future for us is that she mentioned a few months ago (but I’m not sure if I mentioned it here) that if I’d been able to get this place last year we’d probably still be together, so the stress of the confined quarters really was an issue in the break-up. Also, the fact that she *isn’t* willing to "use" me to watch the kids and other things and would rather put up with K’s dad’s crap makes me think she still cares,

she’s just not sure how much and as we discussed doesn’t want to lead me on when she isn’t sure where she’s going yet. Any thoughts on that?

That’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll try to be more regular about this. I think it’s good for me even if no one reads it, but obviously people do.