Done

She says it’s "not necessarily over but don’t wait for me either."

She says she’s got too much invested in the other relationship to give up on it now (after four years of trying to leave him).

I told her he’s not going to change. I told her to talk to any of her friends, they’ll tell her. I told her I didn’t like being her second choice. She said I wasn’t, and I kind of think being with K’s sperm donor until he changes back to his old self again is the very definition of second choice. She said she wasn’t thinking of it like "I’m with him unless he changes back and then I’ll settle for ToyMan" but that’s how it feels.

I told her when (not if) she left him again that if I was still available I’d give it another shot, but I’m not her back up plan.

This sucks.

She seemed a little taken aback, or maybe surprised, when I asked for her key to my place. She was even more surprised that I had everything packed and ready to go in the back of the truck. She hadn’t even noticed it when we went to lunch. She wants me to wait until she gets home to drop it off though. There wasn’t room in her car. She doesn’t want me to leave it on her front porch because "it’s a trailer park and people do all kinds of drugs! you’re not leaving my stuff outside for everyone to steal." And it is a really bad neighborhood too, she’s not just saying that because it’s a trailer park. Of course it’s so comforting to know she prefers to raise her kids in that environment rather than a nice (if small) apartment complex. Where some of the neighbors may be alcoholics, but none of them are drug abusers. Ok, there is one lady who might be smoking "special" cigarettes, but I’m not really worried about that anyway.