Out of town again

Well, I’m here at the hotel again, just a few rooms down from where I was last week. I really didn’t want to leave this time. Last week everything had happened so suddenly and there was so much excitement and energy about something new and different that I didn’t notice anything. This time it’s different. This time I had time to realize I was leaving behind people that actually cared if I came back or not, that’s never happened before.

I guess all this time I haven’t had any real friends. I mean I’ve gone away before from other jobs in other towns, but no one ever called to check up on me, even when I was on bereavement leave. I just figured that’s the way you were supposed to do things, and me calling people when they were away on business to check in with them was unusual. I guess not.

Ember called me almost every day last week, if only to say hi. Sometimes we couldn’t talk, but she left a voicemail anyway. Thanks, I really appreciate it. When I got home on Friday she was genuinely glad to see me, yet another first for me. In the past I’ve had to take taxis home because girlfriends were too busy to pick me up at the airport. While Ember and I aren’t dating and I didn’t get the running across the parking lot squealing hug, I did get a hug and a smile and a "glad you’re home". We’ve probably spent eight or ten of the past thirty-six hours together, sometimes with the group, sometimes alone, and it was great. I guess I’ve never really known what it was like to have real friends.

I’m happy I have them, but sad because I’m not with them.

Now I have to wonder if the path I had previously chosen for my career is the right one. Before all this had happened, I had applied to be a permanent part of the team that does projects like the one I’m on now. It would mean a lot of time away from home with only four days out of every thirty being "down time" and that includes travel time to and from home. For example: I’m two days drive from home and my down time arrives: it’s not really worth it to go home since I only have four days to get home, spend time with friends and family, and get back to work and we can’t fly anymore on the company expense account. You aren’t supposed to be sent that far away, but two of the people from the project I’m on in Georgia have been sent way up north in the past week: one to Maine and the other to Connecticut. Yeah, that’ll be restful down time when it comes.

But with all that comes, at minimum, a doubling of my salary. Yes, the base pay for that position is twice what I make now, so even if they only grudgingly take me because no one else applied they’ll double what I’m making now. I have to ask myself if it’s worth it if I’m not going to be happy, though. I guess I’ll have to see how things work out for the rest of this project. If I don’t like the separation from my friends then I’ll have to leave the company because I can’t go back to the same old crap I left behind. With that being said I’m getting a little old to start over *again*. I really need to finish school, but to do that I need to pay off my old bills and to do that I need the money the new job would offer.

Oh, look at that, a text message from the captain of the freighter Kobayashi Maru saying they need help and could I come on into the Neutral Zone and give them a hand…

Life sucks hard sometimes…