7 months and frustrations

My baby is 7 months old today.  I never know where the time goes.  It just seems to fly by faster and faster.  Sometimes I wish I could just slow it down a little bit so I could enjoy these moments just a little longer.

I love Christmas.  I like pretty much everything about it.  I love the decorations, the music, the presents.  What I don’t like is that I get stuck doing all of that.  My sons and I put up our tree together this year.  DH wasn’t home, but he never has an interest in doing that any other year.  Actually, he makes it last longer than necessary usually and he loses interest in doing the decorating faster than the kids do!  My kids wanted the outside of the house decorated this year.  They are now at the age when they realize that everyone else’s houses were all decorated up pretty and they liked that and wanted to know why ours couldn’t be like that.  But of course, my DH hates the outside so he didn’t want to do anything about that.  I asked for his help in getting the stuff down from the attic at least, and even with that he complained.  The only reason he did it was because my Mom was here and he had the chance to make a point of doing something he didn’t want to do.  He does weird stuff like that.  He won’t move off the couch to do anything any other time, but have someone around he can make a big scene around or show off how much he does around here and then he moves.  Drives me nuts!

He got the stuff down, after non-stop complaining, but then he disappeared into the house saying if I wanted that crap out I could just deal with it.  So my Mom helped me get the stuff out.  Took all of a few minutes and it was done and looked nice.  Since that day I have added a few more items to the outdoor decor but not much.  But again, I did it all.

I have to do all of the shopping too.  I love to shop, I like to find bargains and find things that I know other’s will like.  I put thought into the gifts I want to buy for people.  I listen all year long when people talk to listen for things they say they want or might like, and I write them down so that when it comes time for birthdays or Christmas I have a list to work off of at least.  What I don’t like is having to do all of DH’s shopping too.  He hates to shop, probably in true male fashion.  But none the less, there are at least a few presents or people that he needs to just do himself.  He would never think one second about what to get the kids, he tells me ‘you know what they like just do it and get it over with’.  So I do.  But the sucky thing is that I do the thinking, the searching, the buying, the wrapping and he slaps his name on it as if he had some sort of hand in it.  Grrrr….  He won’t put one second of thought into a gift for me either.  He either just picks random crap at the last minute or he waits until the last minute and then I don’t have anything under the tree to open because it won’t be coming for a few more weeks.  That’s another thing entirely, he hates to step in a store to buy the stuff.  He wants to be able to sit in front of his stupid computer and push a button to order it online instead.  And waiting until the last minute and ordering online just don’t mix all that well.  He has yet to figure this out in all the years that we’ve been together.  Or he’ll tell me to pick out something I want, buy it, and he’ll wrap it for me to open. What’s the point????

And then, of course, there is the little matter of buying gifts for his family.  His parents are well off.  His Dad is a VP of a major utility company and does VERY well.  Yet when it comes to Christmas they send us these elaborate lists of things they want.  I kid you not, one year they sent us a list that was pretty extensive for the two of them.  Out of pure curiosity I looked up each and every item on their lists just to price it out to see how much it all was.  I was shocked to find out that his Mom alone had asked for over $300 in items!  And his Dad had a shorter list that wasn’t as expensive but still.  And his Mom made a point of telling us that she wanted all of the items on her list.  Excuse me?!?!?  I think not.  This year she took a totally different tactic when it came to the list of wanted items.  She asked for two things.  Then changed her mind and said that all she ‘really’ wanted was pics of the grandchildren, blah, blah, blah.  Lay on the guilt trip would ya!  She gets pics of the kids.  It’s not like we dont’ send them.  And it’s not our fault they live 1000+ miles away and refuse to visit us ever.  There choice, not ours.  I should have known something was up when MIL told me to have DH call and talk to his Dad about what he wanted because she said "he has some ideas but it’s probably better if DH talks to him directly".  Um, yeah, ok.  So I had him call.  Guess what his ‘idea’ was!  He wanted us to buy him a new flat screen TV!!!!  And it couldn’t be just any ol’ one either, he had VERY specific requirements that he was looking for in it none the less.  I priced it out after DH told me and I told him flat out that we were not getting that for him.  I mean seriously, the man makes six figures a year alone and they are asking US to buy them a TV?!?!?  But that’s all he wanted, and if we ‘couldn’t afford it’ he wanted us to go in on it with DH’s sister.  Well, that is out of the question too because she is one that if item A is good and it’s reasonably priced she has to buy item B because that one is more expensive.  California dweller for ya I guess, money grows on trees out there!  lol

So yeah, since I refused to buy his Dad a TV for Christmas it suddenly became my problem as to what to ge tthem.  So I suggested a gift certificate to a place that his Dad likes.  He finally did agree to that, but he wasn’t happy when I suggested the amoutns.  Oh well, it is not my responsibility to provide them with everything in life they want free and clear.  So I went out yesterday special to get the gift cards for his Mom, Dad and then a combined one for the two of them to go out to dinner.  That way his Mom has something for herself, his Dad has something to spend on something he would like, and they have something to share.  But I’ll be darned if DH would make a move to go and buy them for his own parents.  I’ve been after him to get that taken care of since I have to get stuff ready to ship this next week so they get it in time for Christmas.  So now it’s done, just have to pack it all up and ship it.  And I’m positive that I will be responsible for that too, likely with all three kids in tow no less.

His sister sent an extensive list to us for both her and her boyfriend.  So I picked a few things off of each of their lists and bought those.  Now I just have to get them and ship them out as well. 

No one cared to ask us for a list this year.  And I let it go until a week or so ago when they were all still sending lists to me and hounding me to tel lthem what I was picking so they could buy t

he rest of the stuff off the lists, etc.  So I sent out our list to all of them and said flat out "In case anyone cares what we may want for Christmas" and sent it.  No word from anyone.  Then at 3 a.m. yesterday morning I get an email from my SIL that she was trying to "knock off a few of the things on the list" and had questions.  So I answered them.  Who knows what will come of it.  From what she said, she has yet to buy or order any of it and ‘would be getting around to it soon’ so if it makes it in time for Christmas or not I’m not sure.  Can’t worry about it. 

While I was out getting DH’s parents something yesterday he called them and talked to them for a while.  He was told what they got for the kids.  He decided it wasn’t worth telling me about because he never said anything.  So this morning I get an email from his Mom saying there is two boxes on their way to us.  One for my DH, one for me.  Well, the one for DH is just his presents.  The one for me, that has all of the kids presents in it, plus a bunch of crap she bought from her company’s sample sale the other day.  I mentioned it to DH and he said ‘oh yeah, I know that already’.  Grrr.  So he told me she sent a comforter, shower curtains, and a bunch of other stuff for the kids from that sale.  And lo and behold, it is all from the line of products that I specifically told her this summer I hated and that the kids told her they didn’t liek because it was scary!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr   Whatever.  That’s how things go.  I bet I’m getting a weird pair of socks or two (always do, have for the past 10+ years) and a gift card to somewhere.  It’s a step up from the half missing gift packs of lotion she used to give me!  Literally, she used to buy a multi pack of lotions that were supposed to be given as a gift, and she would take out what she liked, SIL would take out what she liked, and the crap that no one else wanted they would give to me in the half empty container!  Nice, huh?  This is the kind of crap I have been dealing with for way longer than I care to admit.  Meanwhile, while I get a $2 pair of socks DH is getting a $300 robotic toy!  Yeah, nice.  My kids normally get some free crap that my FIL picks up at trade shows and stuff that he goes too or something my MIL has gotten for free from a store and doesn’t want.  That’s what they actually got last year, a box full of cheap crap that is given out as free gifts at trade shows.  They were a tad disappointed.  It’s just insane.  See why it bothers me that they ask for such expensive things or so much when they give so little?!?!?!?  It’s just insane that anyone could do that and think they are being fair to anyone or not think anything of it and feel it’s perfectly fine.  Ugh.

So yes, I love Christmas, but I get so flustered that everything has to land on my shoulders.  Today DH started riding me about ‘getting on wrapping those presents’.  I said I would and he wanted to know when.  Hellllooooo, I have time yet!  So I went to sort them all out and get things in order so I can do that when I have a few free moments here and there over the next week while DH talked on the phone.  But I got so overwhelmed with feeling like I was missing stuff for people or that I didn’t do enough.  Especially when it comes to my Mom.  She’s done so much for us this year that I don’t know how to repay her.  I’m buying her a new door for her house becuase she needs one and is on a fixed income and can’t afford what she wants.  And I got her a few things other than that too, including gas cards and stuff.  And it’s not like it’s just a few measly dollars, it’s a decent amount of stuff. But I still feel lacking when it comes to seeing it all laid out in front of me.  But oh well, I can’t worry about it now.  I just have to focus now on getting everything wrapped and ready to go for everyone because the clock keeps ticking away.

I know each and every gift that I am getting from DH because for some stupid reason he decided he needed to tell me.  And of course, because I have to wrap it all for him.    I told him that I would appreciate something that the kids picked out.  I like that when they do that, it means the world to me.  So my oldest son picked out something.  DH actually did buy it, but now he wants to claim it for himself, I told him that was not acceptable since K picked it out and is sooooo excited about giving it to me (and yes, I know what it is).  This morning DH made a smart comment about presents and why he thought I keep askgin for more and more stuff. I told him I wasn’t asking for more, I just would have appreciated something from the kids.  He said he would not be spending X  amoutn of dollars on me for each kid, one gift was enough from the oldest.  I told him I wasn’t expecting expensive stuff from the kids, just something they picked out for me.  So he’s spent all day griping at me over the fact that I ‘expect to much’, blah, blah, blah and that it’s ‘not really from the kids" because he has to pay for it, etc.  So I gave it up.  He never understands why that is important to me to get something that the kids have chosen for me.  And I am guessing he never will, which makes me very sad.

Yes, I love Christmas.  I love the sights, the sounds, the smells, the awe and wonder in my children’s eyes when they look at the beautfiul decorations and the smiles on their faces when they get to talk to Santa, the anticipation that Santa’s visit brings for them.  I love all of that.  I just wish for once, that I didn’t have to do ALL the work to make that stuff happen in my household.  I just want to enjoy those moments more instead of being so busy doing everyhting for eveyrone that I miss out on them..  I wish DH understood the importance that some of those things have to me, and why the simplest thing could make it all worth while in the end.  

I don’t mean to be so negative at this point in th eyear.  I truly don’t want to be.  But I just needed to vent, get it off my chest so that I can mvoe forward and enjoy the rest of this awesome season.  I know the best is yet to come in a week or so when all of that hard work is shared with everyone.  And the reward will be their smiling faces, the hugs, and the memories that will be made.  So I needed to get this off my chest so taht I can look forward to and enjoy those things more in the time to come.