D-Day turns into V-Day

So today was D-Day for me.  For those of you who have read me for any time in the past few months you know that when I say that I am referring to the Estate I’ve been dealing with.  Today was the final hearing on it, so it was D-Day.  Could stand for Dooms Day or Done Day, depending.

I kept myself occupied for the majority of the day today.  Trying to do my best to keep my mind occupied and my eyes off the clock every few seconds.  That never seems to work as well as you hope it will but yet you keep trying.  I talked online with a couple of friends on and off to help pass some time (and to get some good news!).  But there was only so much I could do that would make today seem like any other day.

DH was able to get part of the day off today so he could come home and be with me.  While I didn’t need to appear in Court in person I did have to appear by phone for the hearing.  So he came home to watch the boys and keep them out of my hair and quiet so I could understand what was going on during the hearing.  So that was a HUGE help not to have to worry about them screeching and carrying on every few seconds while I had important things to do.

The hearing was set for 2:30 this afternoon.  I was instructed to call in at PRECISELY that time to appear by phone.  I was nervous that my clocks were way off from theirs and that I would be late or something.  So at 2:25 I called in and they were nice and allowed me to stay on hold a few minutes until the Judge and others got closer to being ready.  Finally I was transferred into the courtroom, it was finally go time.  Only problem was as soon as the proceeding started and they switched me onto speaker phone they experienced the most horrific interference I have ever heard and finally after trying all sorts of things I heard through the squealing "we’ll call you back".  So I hung up and waited.  When they called back all seemed to be just fine then.  But I found it amusing that they had 2 days prior to this contacted my attorney’s office and said that since I was a long distance phone call they would NOT be able to call me because their county budget didn’t allow for long distance calls.  But low and behold, somehow today they found a way to call me long distance!  lol

So anyway, finally got a clear line into the courtroom and the Judge was there and ready to go.  She asked if I had heard all of that squealing and such on the phone and then apologized for it being so horrible.  Then we got down to business.  I was nervous at this point because, since I wasn’t there, I wasn’t sure who had all shown up for the hearing today.  See all of the heirs were informed of this date and time and were told they were welcome to be in attendance, that’s statutory.  So when the Judge gave my attorney a chance to talk he said who he was and who he represented for the record and then very clearly and slowly he said "and there is no one else present in the Courtroom regarding this matter".  I about fainted dead away at those few little words!  All of the dread and fear I had for this day all of a sudden vanished.  There was NO ONE there.  Greatest news I could have ever gotten today!  See, M had one sister that was a real bitch throughout this.  She would do anything and everything she could think of to sabotage me and this whole procedure.  Every chance she got she harrassed my attorney until she was finally banned from entering his offices, calling or anything else unless it was in writing and properly mailed.  lol  So given the chance to go to court and have one last hurrah to complain and possibly bitch at me, well, I didn’t figure she could pass that up.  But she did!  The Judge even said at one point "it is now 7 minutes after the scheduled start of this proceeding.  It appears that  no one is going to appear to object.  Given that I declare we proceed with this hearing."  And that was that.  they missed their chance.

With no one there to pose any objections I knew it would go smoothly.  The Judge had a couple of questions for my attorney, which he answered.  She said her bit about everything.  Asked me if I had anything I wanted to add to today’s proceedings, I said I didn’t because everything was accurate and I was satisifed.  Heck, I know better than to say anything if it wasn’t necessary to the proceedings!  You don’t open your mouth and run the risk of messing up a good thing when it comes to court!  So given that she said that after careful review of all the documents of this Estate everything appeared to be accurate and true, everything had been completed according to the law and that based on that she was ruling in our favor. 

And that was it.  In under 15 minutes 19 months of hard work, hellish, nightmarish people it was all done with.  The Judge gave the OK to close out the Estate.  So at this point we are able to finally make all of the final distributions to the heirs, the attorney gets paid, I get paid my PR fees and expenses and the taxes get filed.

The Judge did ask my attorney a question that I was curious about too once she mentioned it.  These heirs have been so stubborn about sending things back when they are supposed to.  In order for the Estate to be truly closed out and considered complete all of them have to send back a signed receipt saying they in fact received their check, and it was for the total amount they are due and that by signing that they are declaring that it is ok to close the Estate.  I never knew if anyone signed them and sent them back when we made the partial distribution a while back.  I know I did, but I always do.  But my atty said today that they all did too.  But he said if for some reason they decide to be difficult now then he will just file a copy of the cancelled check showing their signatures as proof that they accepted it.  The Judge said that would be just fine.  Then she laughed and said "well, we have plenty of time to get this closed out.  But let’s put a little pressure on these people and say this has to be all done and filed within the next 30 days."  lol  We actually ahve until sometime in early December to get it all done but might as well push them to get this done ASAP if we can.  So in 30 days, assuming all checks have been cashed and/or receipts have been signed and returned for filing, I will officially be discharged from being the Personal Representative of this Estate and the files will all be closed for good.

The ironic thing is, in 30 days it will be M’s birthday.  If all goes well we will be closing out his estate on what would have been his 73rd birthday.  I guess Happy Birthday to him! 

My one friend said she prayed and prayed for me the past couple of days because she knew I was having a hard time dealing with this upcoming hearing.  She reminded me this morning to try and remain calm because today was not the day to give myself a heart attack or panic attack adn that she was continuing to pray for me.  She has been telling me over and over again that good always prevails over evil and since I’ve do

ne everything M wanted the way he wanted it done that I had done ‘good’.  And with the way his family acted and treated me and all of their nasty tricks that they were the ones who tried to do evil on someone else. 

The paralegal working on this case is a good friend of mine.  We actually went through college together and got our degrees to be paralegals at the same time.  And she is just an awesome person.  She has been the best person to have on my side at the attorney’s office that I could have ever hoped for.  Two days ago she told me that way down deep she had this feeling she couldn’t explain that everything would be fine today and that no one would show up.  At the time, I was not so optimisitc as she.

But then today I sat in the quietness and I prayed.  I’m not a super religious person but I do believe.  At the time I was very nervous, very anxious.  My heart was beating so rapidly I felt like it would just explode out of my chest at any given moment.  All my muscles were tensed, my nerves were all jittery.  In a word I was a mess.  Then I asked for calm to come over me, to ease my mind, to clear my thoughts of all unnecessary things so that I could concentrate on the task at hand, that I would have the wisdom to know the answers to any question that may be posed of me, and that if the sister was there and verbally attacked me over petty things that I could remain collected and professional throughout.  My heart still continued to race.  So then I started to ‘talk’ to M.  I do that from time to time when I’m really missing him and it helps me cope.  And all of a sudden I could feel a calm wash over me.  It was like standing in a rainstorm and having the rain drops fall on your head and wash over your entire body.  My heart started to slow to a normal pace, my anxieties started to seep away and I could feel my body relax.  I sat with my eyes closed for a long time just ‘talking’ to M that way.  You know, that man was there for me every single day of my life.  He was always there for me, no matter what.  He helped me in more ways that I could have ever counted and in ways that I could have never repaid him no matter how much time I had.  We had a father-daughter relationship even though we were not blood relatives at all.  He raised me as if I were his own though, most people in this world wouldn’t think of such a thing.  And today, like every other day in my life, I felt that he was right there beside me just like he had always been.  And I belive that he was.  I believe that he has been with me every step of the way, watching over me and helping guide my decisions and helping me find the strength in myself when I felt like everyone was against me.  But today his presence seemed even more solid.  I took a deep breath and the calm stayed with me.  When I was dialing the Courthouse I started to feel a little anxious again and just as soon as that feeling started the calm washed over me again and I knew I was ok.  When I heard "no one is here" all I could do was smile, sigh a huge sigh of relief and say "thank you".  After I had hung up the phone I said another silent thank you to him and broke down and cried.  And just like that I knew that everything was going to be ok.  That I had made it, I had done exactly what he wanted exactly the way he wanted it done.  He approved and today he helped me find the calm within myself to realize that. 

My good friend had said to me a while ago that today would be a bittersweet day for me.  While she figured it woudl be a huge relief to have finally reached this point she also knew that it would be very hard for me to just put the past 19 months of my life behind me and move on.  I’ve been kept so busy with all of that stuff.  And now it is just all done.  I thought she was crazy for thinking it was going to be bittersweet for me.  I mean after all, I would finally be rid of the Witch, rid of all their tricks, rid of the ‘threat’ of suing me all the time.  How could that possibly be a bittersweet day??  That to me sounded like pure nirvana.  But I have to admit, today was a bittersweet day.  While it was all those good things, it was also the beginning of finally saying goodbye forever to M.  It was the end of the privilege and honor that he bestowed on me when he asked to have me placed in this position.  It was the end of carrying out his final wishes and making sure that what I did would allow him to rest in peace.  And today is the beginning of moving on with my life without M.  Yes, he’s been gone for 19 months now and over the course of that time I have said goodbye at different points.  Like when I watched them seal the casket, or when I walked away that cold February day and left his gravesite knowing it was the last time I would ever see him again, or when I emptied out his house of all his belongings and watched as strangers toted them away to their homes where they would take on a new life, and the day that I walked out of his empty house for the last time with the sounds of my footsteps echoing against the bare walls.  So yes, there have been many times where I have learned to say goodbye to him in one way or another.  But today begins the end of my obligation to him.  And that is very bittersweet to me.  Don’t get me wrong, I will be relieved to finally be free of all the drama from his family.  But being free of him and the trust he placed in me, not so much.  It’s the beginning of  a new era in my life.  it will take some adjustment, as all things in life do, but I know it will be ok because I know that he is always by my side watching over me and taking care of me.