Anniversary

I realized that 4/20 is the anniversary of this diary.  I realized that on Sunday (4/20), but I decided not to write anything until just now.

Things have slowed down a bit.  Part I of the lawsuit is over.  I still don’t have my money back, but some of the legal footwork is out of the way, and it’s only a matter of time before I get at least the first part of it back.  I’m still single – going on 3 years now – and I don’t really mind so much.  I don’t feel like i have enough free time or money or focus to really be in a successful relationship right now, as cold as that may sound.  I just have too much to do and frankly, it’s not that important to me at this stage in my life.

I don’t understand this drive to procreate.  Aren’t there enough people already?  Do we really need more of them?  I understand that it’s all built in, but if we step back and think about this rationally, it seems that the last thing the world needs is more people.  Well, maybe the last thing is more SUVs, but you know what I mean.  I’ve been thinking about the movie "Idiocracy" lately.  It feels that we’re beyond the capacity for what our planet can really sustain as it is.  We are so worried about global warming and renewable energy and all that…. I just think to myself, "I have an idea.  Let’s stop growing exponentially!"

I’m not saying China has it figured out, because they don’t, but look at China or India:  Their populations are so ridiculously high that they have to ration resources and put limits on family size.  Do we really want to come to that?  Our country is very concerned with national health care right now – is *increasing* the population going to help?

In my humble opinion, we haven’t been rational about population grown since we entered the Neolithic.  But, I suppose, that’s nature.  We have this drive to reproduce, whether or not it’s a good idea, simple because we’re selfish.  We want that little bit of control over our lives, that feeling of "Look what I made!," that experience of doing what no one thought you could do, of going back to the beginning of the cycle that your parents started when they had you, and their parents before them, and back and back through time.

A friend of mine and I were talking about this recently.  I don’t have a very strong drive to procreate.  I’d like to have kids someday, just like everyone else, but I know that I can’t provide for them anytime soon, and having children would preclude me from the career I want (or might as well).  My friend put it like this:

"What better way to leave your mark on the world?"

Well, frankly, I can think of a lot of ways.  Start a non-profit.  Invent something.  Make the world a better place instead of a more crowded place.  Figure out a way to increase the efficiency of our limited resources instead of using up even more of them.  Contribute to society instead of sucking from it.  Now, I’m being cynical on purpose, but you understand where I’m going with this.

Does anyone remember the names of Ben Franklin’s children, off the top of his head?  I don’t.  I know that he was married, but I’m not even sure if he had children (Wikipedia to the rescue:  He had several). 

However, everyone knows Poor Richard’s Almanac.  The $100 bill.  The University of Pennsylvania.  The greatest political experiment of all time:  The United States, and the Declaration of Independence.

Can you name any of Leonardo da Vinci’s children?

What about his paintings?

Michaelangelo’s children?  How about The Sistine Chapel?  The Statue of David?

My point is, nobody cares that we have children except our friends and family.  Sometimes, they don’t even care.  Every trailer-trash pair of low-lives with a dick & a uterus can have a baby.  It takes something else entirely to leave your mark on the world.

My brother showed this to me, and I thought it was appropriate.  I’ll post a link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTkp9UqVVHs

It’s called "I Guess You’ll Do."  It’s about marriage and starting a family, among other things.  It’s funny in a sarcastic, cynical way.

I understand that having children is, simplistically, the purpose of life.  But is that really all we’re here for?  It seems so pointless – we’re here so that we can make more people?  To provide physical vehicles for our children’s souls (their bodies)?  You mean, we’re not actually here to accomplish anything of substance?

The easy (hard?) answer is that we’re here to assist God in his plans for us.  We are here to worship him and do good in the world, to turn people to Christ or whatever you believe.  We are here to follow our free will and come to God on our own and be grateful by doing what we think he would want us to do.

I read somewhere that the average cost of a public education in the US, K-12, is $250,000.  This is paid by local real estate taxes, for the most part.

Do you think you are contributing $250,000 of value back to your community?  A very, very, VERY small percentage of us can say we are paying that back with real estate taxes.  It would take about 150 years to pay that back on a regular, average house, just by paying the real estate taxes on your own.  And that is just for public school.  Don’t forget that you also have the use of the public library, highways, and everything else "the government" (other taxpayers) pay for.

I know that I’m not paying back anywhere near what my fellow taxpayers have spent on me.

Now, if I had two children, or three, or five, we would be "in debt" to our fellow taxpayers $750k, $1m, $1.5m.  That’s a lot of money to contribute back to society.  And that’s just to break even.  Doing good?  Leaving the world a better place than you found it?  Good luck!

Maybe that’s part of why our country is going broke.  Now, if we add "free" national healthcare, how much longer do you think this unending supply of money is going to last?

In my personal opinion, people should have children when they can reasonable afford to provide excellent lives for them.  People should have children when they are in a place in their lives when they can afford to educate them, give them good, nutritious food to eat, and plenty of mental stimulation.  Not when they are bored, or horny, or vain and want to leave a mark on the world.  In my non-expert, humble, biased estimate, probably over 90% of children are borne out of vanity or lust.

The sad thing, to me anyway, is that the people who are most able to provide for children have the fewest, because they realize all of this, and the people who are least able to provide for their children have the most, because they don’t know or don’t care, and "the government" (other taxpayers) make it easy by paying for everything.

My other brother showed me this, and I thought it was interesting, as well:

Here’s the breakdown of income-tax revenue from 2004:

(AGI is adjusted gross income.)

Percentile by AGI – AGI threshold – Percentage of total revenue
Top 1% – make >$328K – pay 37% of total revenue
Top 5% – make >$137 – pay 57% of total revenue
Top 10% – make >$99K – pay 68% of total revenue
Top 25% – make >$60K – pay 85% of total revenue
Top 50% – make >$30K – pay 97% of total revenue

Bottom 50% – make <$30K – pay 3% of total revenue

—

In other words, the top 1% of income earners in the United States pay well over 1/3 of total income tax revenue.  I don’t have data to back this up, but my guess is that people with the most children correlate strongly to people who earn less than $30k to 60k each year – this is certainly true in my personal knowledge of my community.  Those people pay less than 15% of the total tax revenue when it comes to their income.  So, to put it in context, rich taxpayers are – overwhelmingly – paying the expenses so poor people can have gobs of children.  And for what purpose?  To leave their "mark" on the world?

I’m not angry, or bitter.  I’m kind of amused, actually.

I’m starting to get my life on track.  I’m in school, although just part-time, and I’m not doing well in my classes right now.  I’m working, although I’m not doing well at that, and hurting my reputation, and not making any money really.  I’m draining society, but at least I admit it, and I’m not having kids or wasting anyone’s time.  I’m just existing.  In a year or so, I hope to have more shit together.  I’m working on building a business, and I hope to contribute to society with it.  My non-profit is fairly stagnant right now, just because I haven’t made time for it.  But I’m working on keeping my eyes open, because I do not believe that ignorance is bliss, even if it feels like it from the inside.  Life goes on.  Karma exists.  God helps those who help themselves.  Don’t listen to me; I’m just some asshole with an internet connection.

Best,

Blue Dave