May 5, 2004

ketchup

i haven’t written in quite some time! if i had a good memory i could recap what’s been happening since last time i wrote, but i don’t…so i can’t. i can make somethin up though! soooo…i was on my way to the kitchen to grab me a poptart when all of a sudden i got attacked by evil ninja llamas. there was a whole herd of them!! before i knew it my kitchen had turned into a warzone! it was complete chaos. then david showed up and started ollying on the llamas! i was saved!……..or was i? nope! because to my surprise llamas are immune to skateboards! me and david were cornered and the llamas were getting closer! i know what ur thinking too, “jewell, what are u talking about? llamas are kind natured creatures!” unfortunately, ninja llamas aren’t! they had fangs! oh, and they were big llamas too! i grabbed a broom and swung at them!! but they ate the end! we had to think of a plan, and fast!….or else. then it hit me! i knew what to do! i told david to distract the llama clan while i prepared a homemade llama repellant. i scavenged through my cupboards until i found what i was in search of: a box of lime jello. oh yes. i knew i had to be quick! i grabbed a pot, turned on the stove. and began boiling water. 12 mins later i added in the jello mix. after that, i put the jello into a bowl and put it in the fridge! i figured i had some spare time so i took a lil nap. when i woke up 6 hours later i opened the fridge to find that the jello was gone! oh no! who took it? and why!? i walked over to david, who was still fighting off the llamas and asked him what had happened to the jello. he said he didn’t know. i was sorta pissed! i mean….helloooo it took me a long time to make that jello and i thought it was a pretty good plan and whoooosh somebody had to go ruin it just like that. then out of the shadows stepped a llama. he said he was sorry for the misunderstanding, they weren’t attacking us! they were just hungry! wow! i was so relieved! so me and david and the ninja llamas got to talking and it turned out we had more in common then u would think! everything was going great!!! until….i heard my moms van…oh goodness. what would she think of a house full of llamas? i needed another plan! of course i came up with one! i called christine and asked her if her mom would mind if she had some company over. she said it was fine so i called northwest airlines and bought 12 plane tickets for the llamas, drove them to the airport, and bid them farewell! i’m sure they were happy to go to sunny california! everyone knows llamas like to tan! christine called and told me the llamas had arrived safely! i can always count on my best friend! go bucket! and my, was it a close call too! my mom was just walking in the door when i got off the phone with tine! i had made it through the day! ;]

Dork_on_Paper

May 6, 2004

OMG!! that is the greatest story i have ever heard!!! LOMA!! ninja llamas!! wait..i fought them for like 6 hrs? oh ya!…i did…. yay i fought 12 ninja llamas!! u made jello!! lol! hmm…so wait…who took the jello? dun duuun duuuuuuuuuun!! ill tell u who took it!!

…ok while u took ur nap, i was all “hold on guys!! brb” i went and checked on u…u were sleeping, so i put a blanket on u and went back. when i got back the llamas were huddled and talkin. i asked them wut they were doin, they said “baaaa baaaa (llama talk)” and suddenly i saw sporty running away with the jello, and she was runnign on 2 legs!! so…..

..i chased after sporty. she ran out side and dug the jello some were, so i was “crap…jewells gona be pissed that i lost the jello” so i went back and started fighting the llamas some more. then jewell woke up, and asked were the jello was, i thought about it, and is said i didnt know. i wasnt gonna go tell her to start diggin outside for jello, so i figured ide keep fightin them off until….

…we thought of sumthin. then outta the corner of my eye i noticed jewell talkin to one of the llamas. (whao she speaks llamish!!)lol. so then we ended up takin them to the airport, and one of those llamas stole my skateboard! oh well, lol.. ..wut a great story! u should be a writter!! ya!! oh! and i could be a illustrator!! and make comics and books!! lol ok umm..ILY bye!

yea those llamas were wicked awesome!.. they did all my laundry adn vacumed my room and even suggested we have a toenail/hoof (i think) painting party.. but one llama was disgruntaled though he wanted his feet to look like mine so we all hopped into Buttered Toast, the urban sled, it took a little while to get going but after a while we had it down.. your supposed to have someone pull.. who knew??

so then we had to decide where the best llama foot doctor was vegas.. or San Deigo.. we all quicky decided.. San deigo.. so then there we were urban sledding down the freeway.. about 3 hours later we all decided we were hungry so we got off and what did u know there was a sumbreros..so we all ate and got t-shrits.. yes!! adn tehn it was getting late .. it was like we all sneezed at once and then

it was night time.. so we decided to stay at the catamaran hotel.. well one of the little llamas and i decided to go skateboard.. but when it was the llamas turn he just wouldnt get on the board he just carried ti around while we chased geese and one very mean other type of brid.. on look a turtle!!.. ah hah.. anywho.. so i asked why he was not riding then he admitted he dindt know how to ride..

so then i decided hmm how can u be immune to skateboards and not knwo how to ride them especailyy after your brother stole davids.. so i decided i’d learn him a thing or two.. actually like 5 but yea..so we spent all night i taught him how to ride it and actually not fall off it was awesome!!.. so then after the learning was all done we decided to have elevator races.. he won a few i won a few…

we also tied on some.. so we got bored and decided to get another llama his age from the hotel room cuz all the others were having fun and he felt excluded.. so then we walked on the beach and found some dead jellyfish and decided to take then back to our rooms and disect them oh boy that was fun and a mistake all at the same time.. it was fun but then we were like um how do we get rid of them …

haha.. then we spotted it the garbage disposal switch.. eww did that room stink that night and all the next day but we got it on camera.. yes!! so we woke up the next morning and got ready and looked all the llama foot doctors up in the phone book.. finaly i thought i found a good one it said AMAZING LLAMA FOOT DOCTOR in big letters so i thought to myslef (the shark) haha… this shall be god so

we hopped into ol’ buttered toast and headed over there.. well it actually turned out he was an alpaca foot doctor damn him and his tricky ways.. so the llama had a consultation and then he went in for surgery we wait for hours.. then finally he was ready.. it turns out that that llama didnt get feet that lookd like mine .. they looked like…uma thurmans feet.. with the messed up big toes and all

but noone had the heart to tell him otherwise.. so then we all crowded back into buttered toast once more .. and wouldn’t u know it.. we had a flat.. and by falt i mean a hole in the bottom.. they all started to panic i yelled its ok i had subway! then they we all no u didnt shut up so then i said ok but i do have duct tape.. yes!! it fixed it and we were on the road again.. we got back and then

painted his toenail yellow.. and ate some lime jello.. then i had the craziest idea i ran out in a dash.. hah i had a stalpe gun and a bowl full of jello at first they were scared but followed.. i went outside and carefully and precisley stapled the jello to the tree.. success!! it worked mwahaha.. then it was time for the llamas to go home so they put on their ninja suits and i sent them off with

a nice helping of lime jello for all of them.. i miss those llamas.. they were awesome friends.. i was glad that my best friend shared such awesome people with me.. Go Penguin! i miss ya.. well there’s my comment.. staple gun + lime Jell-o + tree= lots of fun!! -Tine