Dopamine.

I have a new job.  I work nights at a factory again, and it’s good.  I mean, it’s not good at the moment because I don’t have my medication and therefore it is hard to focus, but I guess it’s alright because I get paid and it’s kind of considered a full time job and that is good because i need all the money I can get.  Don’t we all.

Anyway, Sometimes i wonder whether or not I am totally dependent on my medication and I really have the capability to be a badass and all self directed and shit, but then I think that I really do have this disorder called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.  I don’t know, on one hand, what I’m saying is I’m flawed and need medication to correct it, and on the other hand I’m saying that I am a drug dependent tool of the system and believe nothing but a mere categorization of myself.  I don’t know, I think I tend to go a bit overboard when i analyze things.

I am typing this whole entry with m y eyes closed, so I apologize for any spelling errors or anything like that.  If this comeso ut with no spelling errors, I will feel like a pimp.

Pmmdpsf.

There at least one error.

Um…. yeah…  My room is a mess.  I don’t want to clean it because when it is clean, it feels so empty.  I don’t know.

Oh, by plan for the next couple of months is just to work and play video games on my psp because those don’t really cost that much money to maintain, and I have so much deby and shit taht i can’t even fathom it at times.  Well, that’s not true, I can totally fathom it, it’s just that I don’t want to because when I do I tend to then have fleeting thoughts of suicide…;…

straight up.

Can you feel my body?  (lalalala)
you and I – dope, dope, dopamine….
can you feel my heart sing? (lalalala)
kimi wa, doko made mo.

m-flo loves emyli – dopamine  (approximation