Better

Yes, I am doing a bit better after I had my Monday night meltdown.  I am still really shaken up by the news and find myself continuously replaying her telling me she’s pregnant in my head.  There have been nights that my mind begins racing as I think about it, but I’ll be fine.  I know that it’ll happen for us in God’s time, so I just have to keep the faith and travel on…

My evaluation Tuesday went fairly well.  I was a little nervous after I had taught the lesson because I did have a few kiddos that acted the way they knew they shouldn’t have.  It wasn’t too bad, but I was still upset with them.  It was so hot in my room by that afternoon (when the sun is shining, the pipes under my room with the combo of the sun make it about 90 degrees in my classroom, and there’s not much that can be done), so I was glad hte principal could see how warm it gets.  I typically teach with my lights off in the afternoon, so I still taught in a darker room.  I did a pretty good job coming up with a lesson that used technology and cooperative learning, which are always perks with the evaluation.  The kids were kind of sluggish because of the warm room, but they did fairly well.  I was just so relieved to have it over with!

Wednesday I decided to take a sick day and stay at home and sleep.  I have been fighting a cold since Thanksgiving, and it really hasn’t gotten much better.  My cough this past weekened began keeping me up at night.  I think the cough paired with the Metformin and Clomid really just did their toll on me.  With the meds being both new, my body didn’t know how to react.  I didn’t get sick or anything; I was just exhausted.  So I took the day and slept ’til noon and then got up and worked on a few things around the house.  I did feel much better that night, and my throat/voice were doing better.  About the worst thing for a sore throat or hoarse voice is teaching all day, so I needed the break. 

That means I went through my eval. with my principal on Thursday, and she had wonderful things to say!  It made me feel really good like I am a good teacher and do a good job with the kids.  I’ve been in this funk lately feeling like I am not doing a very good job, so I needed that encouragement right now.  I am trying to get better at working on a few extra things at night to incorporate more activities and fun learning things during my lessons, so that makes me feel a bit better.  I’ll get back into the groove; I always seem to go through this every once in a while.  I think all teachers do. 

One very positive thing about this past week is that I have been able to share some things with some of my dearest friends, and that has felt good.  I was able to share a bit more about our struggle to get pregnant with my best friend, and that was a relief to me.  Now she knows and I can call her up and chat about it.  She just had a baby in October, so I struggled to tell her this because I didn’t think the timing was very good.  My friends have been very supportive, and it’s amazing to me to find out how many other people in this world are in the same boat that we are.  That’s always nice to know because then I can pray for them and the miracle of new life.  It all works out in the end, but sometimes life takes us on a bumpy journey that we don’t always understand at the time.