Relationships

This is hard for me to talk about, so pray for me while you read this.

For over 10 yrs. I’ve had a great relationship with a guy name Andrew.  Andrew and I met through a church function and found we had tons in common.  He at that time was an OTR driver, coast to coast.  (otr=Over The Road)

He would drive for 3 wks. and be home for 5 days and then go back out on the road.  Well when he was home, he’d call me and say:  "hey egg or silky egg whatcha doing?"  If I wasn’t working, we’d go do something.  During this 10 yrs. I’ve gotten him many times from different terminals when dispatch wouldn’t send him to where his car was.  So I’ve gone to Cedar Rapids, Madison, Rockford and gotten him and brought him home, then taken him back when he had to grab his truck.

In May of this year, the company that he drove for, forever, took all the drivers like Andrew who were at the top of the pay scale and laid them off and hired new drivers at .23 cents a mile.  Well, during this time, Andy tried to find new housing, pay for his car and look for another job.  But the economy is so bad right now that it’s hard to find stuff, especially here in the midwest.  There is nothing!!
He lost his duplex and his car, and ended up in a rooming house with some friends of his.  (it’s a crappy place)

Well, during this time is when I was having so much trouble at work, and I lost my mom in January, and the grief and loss that goes with that, I never dealt with, then all the harrassment at work, and my doctors putting me on disability, and the wait that goes with the disability, yadda, yadda, yadda……………
This all built up and then one day Andy calls and says: "hey let’s go do something."  So I went and picked him up and we went cruisin for a hike.  We went to my favorite park and went hiking and had a ball."  While hiking we talked about going to Chicago.  So I got us a room in Chicago at a hotel and the next week we went to Chicago.  We stayed 2 days.  We had a great time going to museums, parks, Chinatown, looking at architecture, walking on Lake Michigan, etc… 

Well during this time my anxieties were sky-rocketing and I didn’t realize it.  We got home from Chicago and I was at my maxed limit.  My anxiety level was flying.  I went off on Andy really bad and I was really mean to him and I said some really hurtful things to him.  So he called my daughter, my Pastor, and my Doctor and told them I was crazy and he wanted no contact.

This hurt really bad.  It broke my heart.  This is a guy that I’ve known for such a long time and I knew I could call him if I needed encouragment, if I needed a shoulder to cry on, if I needed a hug, whatever.  And I did it.  So for the past 6 weeks, I’ve prayed, begging the Lord to give Andy back to me. 

Everyone, I really do miss Andy not in my life.  He’s my best friend.  I could tell him anything and it didn’t matter.  He didn’t judge me.

Well, last night I couldn’t sleep and I found myself doing things I shouldn’t be doing and thinking things I shouldn’t think and then I went to bed.  I asked God to forgive me and then I said:  please give Andy back to me.  I miss him so much.

This morning at church, I was playing the prelude and I saw people walk into the sanctuary.  I don’t really know who’s where, I just know people are around.  During welcoming and handshaking, I stepped out to shake hands with my Pastor and instead he gave me a hug.  Then I shook hands with the Praise team.  I looked across the congregation and I saw Andy sitting in the back.  He didn’t see me.  We sang the first hymn and then I accompanied the sax for offertory, without music, because he forgot to bring it.  Then I got ready for the praise music.  After Praise & Worship music was completed, I stepped back into the side room and got ready for my vocal solo:  "From Your Knees".  As I was standing there, I looked back to see if it really was Andy.  And yes, it was.  Thank you Lord for answered prayer!!!!

As I stepped towards the pulpit to sing, I saw Andy put his head down so I wouldn’t know it was him.  It didn’t matter, I already knew he was there.  I sang my song and went and sat down.
Pastor Jeff started his message by saying:  "if there are people here who need to renew their relationships, God is a god of renewal, not destruction.  He wants your friendships renewed."
What a blessing to my heart to have Andy hear these words.  That’s what I’ve prayed for 6 wks. that God would renew what we had before and make it so much stronger.

Today I’m thanking God for the opportunity to sing the words and to thank Him for the answered prayer that He’s given me for Andy.  And for Andy just being at church.  It’s been such a wonderful gift today.

Thanks Lord for Your Promises.

I’m praying that Andy and I will renew our friendship soon.

Prayers are requested from everyone for this.  Thanks