Stress that breaks you, or makes you

Ever get that overwhelming feeling of stress and pressure, and though its brought on by your own doing, it stifles you and you just want to rip your hair out?

 i’m sure the overwhelming answer to that is yes.

 Classes start on Monday, and I still need another class to be full time or i’ll lose my acting scholarship. my last paycheck from the daycare was a measly 180 bucks… i wasn’t looking at the calender right, i thought it would be two weeks but it wasn’t and i took friday off.. yeah, not such a great move. i still dont have my books… i still dont havea job… my car payment is overdue and i have an automatic withdraw for my car insurance… thats just my main concerns right now.. there are others.. but who cares when there’s more important issues, right?

  Martha, bless her, helped me figure out the answers to these problems and i should be ok. Though Terri seems to be so busy she cant pick up her phone (she’s my advisor) I dont know about the whole class in the mayes building, and she didnt  give me a pin to pick up a class on my own. Awesome… but im hoping it all works out. i’d go up to the school, but if she cant even return a call from yesterday and isn’t picking up on a single call, when i’ve been calling all day, then it would be a waste of gas, gas i dont have.

    Its my first time at a university, im use to community college at this point. parking is easier, and navigating is easier. at university there is so much more to learn.. you really have to learn your way around. my roomate blaine showed me around campus yesterday, and so i feel a LOT better about monday. I’m going to give myself an extra hour before class, at least on monday and tuesday, to navigate around the parking situation and all that.

    Wow. its pretty insane that I’m here. At this very point in my life. Its almost make it or break it now. Here’s my opportunity. i auditioned. And I GOT IT. Its pretty liberating, but very intimidating. Waited for this for a long time. But its time to muster up all my strength, muster up all i have, and BUILD on that… grow farther… Get the confidence in myself that I need. Be my own person, completely and fully. Play the part, be the part KNOW the part.

    I mean, what else works, right?