Darren Got The Girl

Darren FINALLY got th girl!

But it hadn’t happened exactly as he planned.

She had a cat, which she called the cutest cat… He hated cats, but he loved her, so yeah, he pretended to love cats too… The things one does for love!

Anyway, lots of people love cats, so she wasn’t impressed though they were on friendly basis anyhow, as in when he tried to say hello or talk to her, it would earn him a smile and a reply, occasionally a minute or two of conversation which would have him absolutely floating on cloud 9. But he was totally macho, so of course SHE didn’t know how heavenly he thought it was just to see her smile. But he did make it known that he liked her.. After all, he only tried to talk to her and no other girl, so that HAD to be a HUGE indication…

Anyhow, that cat of hers ended up giving him the perfect change to exhibit his great sense of heroism. Which would inevitably turn her effections to him, once he’d show how far he’d go to make her happy…. That’s up the tree!

Yup! The cat had got caught in the tree. Cliche eh? But do you know how many calls a fireman gets just to get cats out of a tree? Enough that they should just assign one guy a day to do tha particular job. Actually, that wouldn’t be enough coz they would probably get another call to save anoher cat while that fireman was out on the cat mission.

So he just so happen to be walking along the street where Mary lived. Well, that was what SHE was supposed to think. He on the otherhand, walked it everyday in hopes to get a glimpes of her, but would hide when he thought she might spot him. It would totally blow his Macho cover if she knew that he was there just to see her.

But this day was special though! She didn’t see him because she was looking up the tree and looking extremely worried, almost in tears, and he couldn’t bear the sight of his sweet princess looking that way. He quicky discreened that the problem was her darling (coz it just gave him a HUGE opening) cat that had gone up the tree and couldn’t get down, coz it was mewing rather loudly.

So he, casual as one could ever be, strolled towards Mary (with his heart palpitating so loudly he almost couldn’t hear anything else!) and she spotted him before he could say hi (which was his plan coz he was too tongue tied that he hoped she would say something first. The conversation he was planning in his head just wasn’t happening because she looked utterly cute in her sport shorts…. Dang tight cute cheeks she had just shot circuited his brain!); she said "Darren! My cat’s up the tree! She can’t get down! Can you PLEASE help get her down for me?"

How could ANYONE in their right minds (especially if it was located in some other part of their anatomy at that time) say no to a request like that? So he found his tongue just long enough to say "Sure Mary!" and he looked at the tree, found a couple of nooks and cranny’s and began to gallantly make his way up as he said "It’s ok Kitty, I’m coming to get you! Everything’s gonna be just fine!"

And honestly, it really would have been fine! If only he hadn’t found one branch which he felt was quite steady to sit on, which was close enough to reach the kitty with… That really wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he heard Mary’s sweet voice saying "Oh Darren! You’re just so brave!" And he looked down because he wanted to see the clear sign of adoration on her face which would forever be etched into his memory til his dying days….

Therein was the mistake… When you’re thinking with the mind that’s located in the wrong part of your human anatomy, you end up doing things that you would normally never do. And it was when Darren looked down that he realized HE WAS AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!!

And just to mock him it seemed…. The ‘darling’ kitty suddenly figured out that she could get down on her own and with a crass "MEOW!" was racing down the tree as though she were born climbing it! Thus Darren was now instead stuck in the tree, without even half as courage as he had when he WASN’T thinking with the right head, and just couldn’t get down the tree.

Mary was distracted for a few minutes as she cuddles and cooed her cat as though the lil *he really shouldn’t say coz he’s a gentleman too aside from being macho* was terrified, when it had just, happy as you may, ran down the tree!

It took her a couple of minutes to realize that Darren was still up there, and another minute of looking at him in puzzlement, because he was again too tongue-tied to tell her why he was still up there, to realize that he was still there coz he was afraid to come down. The sudden white pallor of his face was another dead give away…

She called the Fireman… They had a good laugh, but "At least it ain’t another cat we got called for today!" So THAT’S how we have the stats on cats… Yes, many lil girls love their cats so much that the law takes it in their own hands to ensure that every cat gets down from every tree it decides to climb and conveniently (or inconveniently) forgets how to descend….

Still…. Even through his embarrasment with the ladder as the fireman helped him down, again he was utterly elated when Mary suddenly flung her hands around his neck even before he could find his footing, landing them BOTH on God’s green grass as she tried to kiss his cheek and missed only to kiss his lips instead. A bonafied mind blowing full bodied kiss over a cat that decided to forget how to climb down a tree long enough to embarrass him!… There was no other place called heaven except in the place where he was at that very moment.

So, even with the slightly bruised pride… DARREN GOT THE GIRL!

And THAT my friend is the ONLY THING THAT MATTERS…..

Coz it’s a happy ending….

The End
Sky Lark Crow
4.34am 30th March 2006

***

Okay, this is my SECOND attempt at humour. 🙂

HOpe you like it!

Didn’t go to Church with Shira coz I was feeling well, and she overslept anyway, I got a msg from her saying so.

Mind you, while I am a Hindu, I do have a copy of the Bible in my room, and books on other religions as well, here I’ve got some books on Buddhism and Bahai. Back home I even have two books which are translations of the Quran. Well more accurately, my father as it and I’ve read it. 🙂 Not all, but in parts, especially during the period when I was studying Comparative Ethics. It’s interesting that when you reach the core of all these religions, you find that they are all SAYING THE VERY SAME THING! So my beef with Christianity in Australia and any place is that people are teaching it as a Be all and End all religion. Where if you are not Christian, you go to Hell, and if you are Christian, even if you’ve murdered before, you’ll go to heaven. They teach it in a way that says, say me, being a Hindu, which they (not all but in general) consider Pagan (which it isn’t, and I’ll get to the caste system coz that’s a misconception, a DIRE MISCONCEPTION  of the roots of that practise), well if they convert me, then immediately, on the spot, it sends the rest of my family and non Christian loved ones to Hell, UNTIL or UNLESS I can convert them! I don’t believe that THAT is what Christ tau

ght. If mere conversation was the road to Salvation then Christ did us a great disservice by not making even more people around other parts of the world Christian while he lived. Coz he could have converted and saved so many more, than stayed in a place where they finally nailed Him to a cross for trying to bring us all Salvation…. Okay, I’m not trying to be skeptic here. I love Christ, I’m just debating that arguement. Christianity and Islam now a days are at odds with each other, even though they stem from the same tree for this very reason. People are being TAUGHT to embrace the religion in extreems to the exclusion of respect and understanding of any other religion aside from their own.

God gave us the gift of choice. And the various many religions as part as that gift of choice so that we may have the liberty to choose whichever path we want in order to reach him. Then man decides to take away that God given choice and shove it down our troaths saying that if we don’t just follow one path, we’re going to Hell? Well, to Hell with that! If my mother is in Hell because of that (as my ever so loving Christian friend once told me), then I will happily join her there. Coz if one so helpful and loving would belong in Hell, the God of Heaven isn’t one whom I’d want to meet. I hope you understand my stand though. I love Christ and Christianity, while I am still a strong Hindu, but I loath the way it’s being taught and used as a tool to separate people from others using religion.

And the ‘caste’ system is not a "HINDU" thing, it is an INDIAN thing. It was part of the INDIAN CULTURE for eons! It started off good naturedly enough, the way Hitler started with good intensions, then things got out of hand when people in power decided to use the caste system which was initially created to bring order, instead to say that one caste was better than the other.

 Think of the caste system, if you’d like, the way one thinks of religion. If you’re born to that religion, you belong to it for life. Similarly, if one was born to that caste they were within it for life. The caste was actually job functions or job based. The ones who taught religion and knew all the rites and rituals which everyone else didn’t have the time to learn coz they were busy with their own lives and raising of their family (Bhramins), then the Skaastrias who were the Soldiers who spent their lives in training and understanding war so that they could protect others, then there were other caste for different kind of labourers, and the one which bohered people the most aside from bhramins were the Paria’s or Untouchables…. You know WHY they were that? It started because they were the ones who cleaned the streets of India, thus they would be picking up the carcasses and corpes of dead animals and people too, and everything else with cleaning. Thus, they had developed a natural immunity to the diseases which plagued these animals and people… But others who weren’t Paria’s were not immuned… So hanging out with a Paria was like hanging out with a guy who had Chicken Pox or Measels or something contageous like that (but whom he himself was immune to), when you didn’t have any immunity to it. YOu would definately catch the bug. So to NOT catch the bug, they stayed away from the Paria’s. And later it became a thing when people got their noses too high up in the air and lording around, like when the Church came up with those "Letters", that the caste system became something to totally separate people, even after it was no longer required. But in those days it was required because people who were born into those families were taught that way of life. A Bhramin could ONLY TEACH another HOW TO PRAY, how to conduct the prayers and things like that, he would not be able to teach you how to fight in a battle. Similarly, the warrior would not be able to teach you how to build a house, but would be able to teach you how to defend yourself. They taught their kids their craft and life good kids they followed in their parents footsteps.

But the caste system was initially formed to work like the human body. Each caste was each limb of our body. So imagine if your hand suddently decided one day that it wanted to be your legs instead, or if your head decided that it wanted to instead be your sexual organ (Well for some people it may already seem to be that way). but Anyhow, it would be total chaos…. so the caste system was created for order and not discrimiation or separation.

But as humanity is always soooooo good at screwing itself, and making a good thing bad, things went a stray and now people think that Hinduism IS the Caste system that the religion cannot exist without the caste system, THAT IS TOTAL ABSOLUTE BULLDUST! Hinduism DOES exist without the caste system. That system is no longer as widely practised as people may want to believe. Yes, people still want to be proud, so they still want to say that they are from this or that caste so their kids can’t marry out, but hey, that’s like the white’s saying that they are from a rich family and doesn’t want their kid to marry a someone who’s woking for 5bucks an hour flipping burgers.

I hope that you can understand what I’m trying to say here… The world is supposed to be changing for the better. But we are not helping it when we misunderstand and pick at stuff until it’s in threads, while completely missing the bigger picture that if we want to be happy and live in a peaceful harmoneous world, we’ve got to just love everyone unconditionally, help those who need help and love God for all His glory upon us.

Wasn’t that Jesus message after all? Love all and serve all, Love your neighbour as yourself? I don’t think that he specified that the neighbour HAD to be Christian…. And that we should always Love GOD and leave our lives in God’s hands…. I’ll take those words and live by it. But I don’t take that I HAVE to be Christian or any other religion of that matter, to be able to take those words and live by it to enter the gates of Heaven. Even if I had no God, I believe that Heaven would take me if I lived by the path which a messanger of God had given.

Anyway, the sun’s coming so Im gonna get some shut eye.

Hope that you liked the story and that the rest, though rather humourless, answered some questions for you.

God bless

Lanis