269. Lust

Well. Work has been crazy. I’ll just leave it at that. For once I’m not the target and showing how committed I really am to 80s. So yesterday in the middle of rush and the snow storm my car took a shit. I was soooooo bummed out. But i got it fixed on less than 24 hours. So that’s awesome. As soon as I got it fixed I went out for a beer with lana. And Paul was texting me. Each text I just melted so i told him to call me if he needed me since I got my car fixed. And he replied for me to come in and work with him so I can be surrounded by fags with him. I ditched lana so i could stare at him some more. He made plans with me to get online for cod after our boss came in to “talk” to him he thinks he’s getting bitched out which he probably is but I felt his pain and kept him smiling. He gave me free food for coming in and I begged him to make my nacho cheese bread because i wanted it made with his love sweat and tears. Then during the last hour of work I texted him to have a beer with me and each day that goes by he owes me a shot on his tab. So he made plans for us Sunday after work him and I will go out for a beer. My stomach turned im so excited. But yet I’m feeling so lost at the same time. I know i would NEVER make a move on him. I just wonder what he’s thinking. I’m getting so emotional over it already.
Scotty is still running in my mind. I still haven’t read rikkis Facebook to see if he’s out of jail yet. Throughout the holidays I told myself not to read it. Since I have no reason to. It’s over between us. I just kinda wish he’d still cause my mind to be wrapped around him so I can stop liking Paul. The more I work with him the faster I’m falling. I’m getting so anxious around him. I know he doesn’t notice. But while we work I notice him talking to other employees and make his way towards me so I can be in on his conversation why does he have to be so sexy. I will post pictures of him. Ugh just this girlfriend thing is killing me. He’s soooo effing hot and his personality matches his hotness to the tee. Why does all the crazy infatuations happen to me?

-L