240. hot & cold

 ive been wanting to write but my subscription payment for ODPlus hasnt been activated for some reason.. so it slows everything down which SUCKS and i lose motivation.

my mind has been shot. i dont even feel like writing at all. about any of it.

scotty and i are still together but weve been bickering.

either way guess who always wins the fights? not me.

i just give up after a while. he knows im on his case each day our luck gets worse and plans get broken

it is SO frustrating when i prepare myself to see him.. and then i dont

the biggest pet peeve ever. it makes me think hes cheating on me. when really. its our schedules conflicting.. like horribly.

our sleep schedules.. our work schedules.. my school schedule.. and our food schedules just DONT mix or work well at all

and its fucking frustrating

ive been a bitch. im not going to lie. i fucking hate the world right now. and ive been bitching at scotty for dumb shit.

i havent accused him of anything but im doing way worse to him in my head

 

its almost like he wants to take a break but were practically already in one.

a lot of drama has been going down.. especially between him and i.

and when i find something i dont like.. i snap into an IDGAF mode with him. and he somehow manages to piss me off more acting like nothings wrong until he forces me to say it by yelling back at me with his attitude

it scares me a LOT.

ive been so sad.

but for the most part.. we get over our mini fights usually RIGHT after we hash it out.

hes been hangin up on me.. but we quickly resolve it.. within minutes

 

im still fuckingfrustrated.. when he doesnt respond quick enough.. i lose it on my end.. like i get SO pissed

 

idk

but whatever the fuck is bothering both of us it needs to fucking GTFOutta here

-L