235. smitten

 id have to say that smitten is the only word i barely use but seems right to put in with my mood. the whole weekend scotty spent with his kids.. i was being drunk and obnoxious on friday. ive decided i need to STOP getting so wasted. im at the most vulnerable points, and by the next day im never happy with my actions being intoxicated.

but fuck friday night, the recap of friday you ask? i was supposed to go home and do homework for school. did i do that? of course not. i blew $55 at a bar wasting money on keno and over priced beer. FUCK that shit. and then i drunk dialed every single fuck buddy i can think of. thank GOD no one answered.. but.. i drunk dialed adam. fml.

saturday i busted my ass at work. made a shit ton.. sunday i lazed around then made a shit ton at work. on thursday scotty supplied me with weed and i made over $150 off selling it. but by yesterday i was out of weed and needed more to sell. the entire weekend as it went by i was missing scotty. i knew he was with his kids but i just missed the fuck out of him.

when i walked into work yesterday, adam asked me if i drunk dialed him the other night then asked me why. i told him i didnt know and i was drunk.. then he asked again "tell me why now that youre sober.. i wanna know what you needed" i ignored him. ew.

saturday night i had found out natalie (owners girlfriend) knew the entire time about me and joe (past driver/ beckys boyfriend) and i had sex. a long ass time ago. it frustrated me because i realized THAT was the whole reason i was losing my job.. not the slacking off shit. i was getting fired for sleeping with a co-worker. but i know the game im not fucking stupid. they didnt want to fire me they wanted me to quit on my own.. uhh fuck you. even though all of that shit is in the past i still feel salty.. like damn. my work really DOES talk shit about me.

i guess being there for over a year can fuck up the reputation as an employee. it seems like im liked now. but now after sharing a few secrets with my fellow close employees im starting to get the feeling im being laughed at.. or just lied to my face. which.. in a STRESSful work environment.. id lose my mind.

but hopefully thats not the fucking case. dont get me wrong.. i love my 80s. i love working there i love money.. and the people are good and bad. the annoying pieces of shit still annoy me and the funny ones who make me laugh make me enjoy working there. but thats every workplace right?

with 80s only being one and only little tiny pizza joint.. its really weird how you can SEE the "clique" the ones who made the team.. and the ones who are being pushed out.. the ones who made the team are me.. (i fucking bust my ass and they still try to push 45 hours on me).. dan (50 hours).. ben (50 hours) and adam (40 hours).. these are just the drivers.. dan is complaining hes working to much. boo fuckin hoo.. ben and i had 70 a piece when joe (beckys boyfriend) quit on us. and ben and i broke our damn backs for that store. i would be working 50s and 60s if i wasnt in fucking school. i warned them that i failed a class for this crazy schedule when murph got fired. the staff has always been up in the air.. now that we got drivers down packed. we still have issues because each day were getting busier and busier.. so instead of the 4 drivers we have now, we need at least one or two more. we used to just have 3 and business ran 5 with the 3 of us.. sometimes we need 5 drivers all in one night to drive. but 5 drivers is splitting the TOTAL deliveries 5 ways. um no thank you. this is why drivers make MORE money on a monday and tuesday than they do on a friday or saturday.

the way adam drives makes me mad. hes slow. he doesnt clock out in time. he takes fucking forever on a delivery.. and when hes taken 9 deliveries before i even start work.. i literally catch up to him.. and NO ONE can figure out why.. ill tell you why.. cause youre so fucking slow.. of course im going to take your money. and speed. thats all i do. ill whip around the corner and come back. i BEAT people back to the store.. and if i noticed someone forgot to clock in.. i dont give a fuck. youre skipped. tough shit.

and the best part of all of this is that 2 out of 3 drivers i work with buy pot from me. they spend their whole entire tip money on weed.. THROUGH me. so even when i do get angry.. and pissed off of how slow theyre going.. i have to remind myself.. oh yeah. it doesnt matter if i get a shitty delivery because its my money anyway.

and ben and i (the one who doesnt smoke weed) are "work" husband & wife. him and i are the top drivers who run deliveries. and he worships me. he always forgets to clock back in and ill even tell him he forgot just to make sure he knows im not ripping him off.. but he lets me walk all over him. i mean seriously. when there are no deliveries on the screen, and youre the last driver out.. all of the drivers who have no deliveries stay at the store and do the fuckin monsterous dishes and wipe out every single pizza pan. when youre the only driver on the road i take my sweet ass time.. and by the time i get back the screen will be lit with just enough deliveries for one to land on me.

its a sick vicious cycle but these guys can be dumb sometimes when it comes to that shit. and i hear a lot of "i dont even care if you skip me linda.. not a big deal im tired today." dude i get 5 hours of sleep and i still fuckin go crazy over deliveries.. ive noticed how much MORE money rolls in. and it just floors me that these guys will work 9 hour shifts.. and when i walk in at their 5th hour.. by the end of the night ive sometimes taken even MORE deliveries they have just by speeding.

i know im ranting about crappy work but i guess i want competition. i have road rage like a mother fucker. idk. its just weird. i guess i stopped caring after all the shit talk.. the rumors.. the truth.. all floating around in everyones ear.

so back to my smitten entry.. wow i get off track easy. 80s is gonna get me into a riot i swear. last night i was delivering pizza right around scottys house and i was bummed since i hadnt heard from him. it was like 9pm.. and then my phone rang and it was him =] (he broke his blackberry he dropped it on the pavement so we cant text until he gets a new phone =[ ) i told him that i needed to re up my weed BADLY that people were buggin me left and right for their pot. he told me his price went up $25 which got me thinkin that maybe.. just maybe he’s lying to make $25 off me. but then i realized im actually paying less than last time due to the quarter he sold out of it and pocketed the rest. anyway.. more money for me at the end of the day.

i told him i closed by 11. and asked if we could get it tonight because adam driver already had asked me to get him his quarter.. which i could use the sale. so adam and i closed and natalie and owner adam came in at like 10 to close.. and it was a mad house since the walk in wasn’t working. i had told natalie that i slept with adam when she came back from vacation. and she asked how it was going between the two of us.

i now know it was a huge mistake to sleep with him. first impressions do suck.

but to make my night end on a happier note. scotty was in the front seat while adam picked up his weed and handed me $60 =] scotty was talking all

of his shit on the way since i had mentioned to scotty that he IS or was now.. REALLY hot and i had a giant crush on him since he started working.. then i told scotty how much of a douchebag asshole he is.. so scotty said his shit to make me feel better. yum.

adam got in the backseat and i handed him his quarter.. he was all nice to meet you mean blah blah. scottys like ya. as he rolls up a blunt. then all of a sudden adam rushed out of there.. whatever.

scotty and i sat in my driveway for two more hours talking.. hes going to the pig roast with me saturday.. =] and i finally think hes going to meet my dad. (if my dad goes) we kissed a lot. mostly laughing and hugging and talking our usual shit to eachother with the what ifs and would you still be with me if i had a little dick shit.

he said hed call me today after school.. which is out in about 15 minutes.

why does he taste so fucking good. he seems so happy again. im pretty sure were back together.

we talked about so much.. he just seems so calm and like hes back to himself. and the weirdest part.. i think he likes eating pussy now. i hope its because of me.. and i hope he eats more of it. because man he loves teasing me with his tongue.. sticking it in my mouth a certain way to make me squirm or push him off.

but he always complained that his tongue is too small and he never liked doing it.

mmhm. well see about that.

i used to say well if we ever did break up for good im sure id find someone who would EnJOY eating me out and doing it all the time.. now he like.. he wants to..

maybe its love? or he just grew into liking it? or he just wants me happy?

idk. hes hot. he even mentioned us being together for 4 years.. and i corrected him saying not quite.. it will be 4 years in september.. and he said that we’ve probably fucked between 3 or 400 times..

hes probably right.. and we both sat there in silence like damn.. thats a lot.

idk. im smitten.

im out of class off to get an oil change then work 4 to close and open to close tomorrow

 

love you all

-L