177. smell

for some reason.. i smell.. EVERYTHING.

i was at work i could smell the nasty crud from the pizza pans.. it wasnt just a whiff and went away.. there were no pans in sight.. i looked EVERYWHERE for this smell and i finally found it.. it was a rag to wipe the pans down.. wtf?

my aunt told me that was weird and asked if im taking my BC pills correctly.

i have. ive missed a few days.. but quickly got back on it.. but we use condoms too.. so its just.. not possible.. in my mind at least.

i believe its just the snow making me smell everything.. this has to be the weather. its fucking ridiculous tho. i smell all the nasty shit..

scottys been calling me.. hes been treating me okay i guess.

he woke me up yesterday morning and him and i smoked my weed. then i asked him to come inside and make me go back to sleep since it was so early.

he nutted in my mouth without telling me and without fucking me like i asked.

i was SO pissed.

he gave me the excuse that it was different how i was positioned. well ya. but still wtf. he said he would "take care of me" and not to worry. wtfe. just gtfo.

he left.

he called today saying he would try to see me tonight. i told him not to bother because im so pissed off.

hes never done that to me.. ever. he always warned me.

that guy doesnt have a brain i swear it.

but im doing laundry cleaning my dvr and not getting my hopes up what so ever. why should i? i figure he would just bail. im being such a bitch. but he deserves it. my blood boils just thinking about it. are you fuckin kidding me? who does that?

even when he was nutting in my mouth i pushed him back and he pushed my head down thinking i wanted him to do that.

gimme a fuckin break.

ahhhh! i wanna scream.

-L