175. regret
is it wrong to feel disgusted with myself after all of this?
when i woke up yesterday.. i looked at my phone and seen a missed call and a text message. but i didnt see who called or who texted me and went back to sleep.
an hour later i woke up and looked because i couldnt help myself. the text i forgot who it was from. the call.. was scottys cellphone.
i forced myself to believe that it wasn’t him. and it was rikki. even though. i could be wrong.
i still couldnt help myself. and called him back 5 times. it would ring once then go straight to voicemail. i figured rikki was right she blocked my number from calling his phone. so she will probably read that i did call him. fuckin bitch
but you know what. she won. yay rikki. she beat me. and im a sore loser sitting for hours staring at the walls balling my damn eyes out thinking how ive spent so much time loving someone who would never pick me.
its humiliating really.. all of the words exchanged between rikki and i.. its filthy. it hurts.. i wouldnt wish this feeling on anyone.
i am alone again. yet im not doing so well.. how many more days am i going to cry.
why. why me. someone send a psychic my way.
-L
🙁 i’m sorry, girl. stay tough. you can get through this. <3
Warning Comment
it isn’t rikki you should hate it’s HIM. .. he is using the both of you. don’t blame yourself.. that is what he wants you to do.. just get up and get going and do all the things you want to do and forget him., he isn ‘t worth it, and doesn’t deserve to be with a great girl like you. Love yourself, start there.
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(Hugs)
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you’re human. you’re born… you die; in between you are going to make a lot of mistakes. some we make, because at the time, whatever it was was exactly what we wanted- you can’t regret that. you’ve been through so much, and you are NOT one to give up. you’re judgement’s keener now, don’t let what happened ruin you- so much better is waiting for you- stomp this shit under your foot, and march on x
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i cant shake the feeling that you were the “other woman” in this situation….the constant cancellations, the hotel rooms, the “ex” freaking out on you all the time…? you’re so much better than that…you’re better without him.
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i have to agree with your other noters…you are better than that. you shouldn’t be someone’s second choice. keep your chin up, and start to move on. you’ll be happier without all the scotty drama anyway.
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i keep seeing this situation get better, but after it goes down the shit hole, it gets more worse than before! it really sounds like scotty has been using you because he knows you. scotty is your heroin and theres no rehab to save you. im sorry love, he keeps playing with your heart to get to your pussy…. 🙁
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hey saw you requested a friend request..I added you..
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