128. so sorry my lovely OD

i feel horrible for not writing ive just had no motivation what so ever.

my birthday was alright. i guess.

scotty missed it.

we ended up seeing eachother for a few hours 3 days after my birthday.

i was on the rag of course. but we still both figured we could make it work and get laid

so i spent $50 on a hotel room. yeah.

we didnt even have sex for two minutes.

and then i took him home he wouldnt even sleep there

then he borrowed $40 from my purse after he was "so broke"

then i went up north on tuesday

i just came back today.. i bought myself a new phone.

im pissed.

i heard from scotty one time while i was up north and that was the first night i got there.

oh and i have no memory of what we talked about for 10 minutes because i was fucking plastered out of my mind

im so sick of sitting on the sidelines

ive been calling and texting

and he wont respond.

im sick to my fucking stomach

im so done feeling this way

kelly and i arent friends anymore

my job is closed monday tuesday and wednesday so we cant work to make money

im getting so fed up with everything and everyone i really dont know what to do with myself.

 

so im so sorry for not writing. and im not going to lie i havent been reading much of you either.

im just so SUPER upset. and in a horrible mood.

a long period of time horrible mood.

im beyond frustrated and really theres only ONE person who can make me feel better

and he wont even RESPOND to me

this guy claims hes in love with me?

what a fucking joke.

im super frustrated. i love and miss all of you and i am so SO sorry..

i just want to scream honestly.

love you all

-L