110. will you pick me up tonight?

i really cannot help myself how overwhelmed i have become.

i am falling faster and faster over and over again for him i really dont effing get it.

he called me every hour last night.. checking on me.. telling me he was coming to see me in the morning. he kept calling and calling talking to me.. taking breaks at work to talk to me. i asked him to bring me condoms and he said maybe..

i fell asleep around 4 and woke up to someone knocking on my window.

it was 9am. he looked so sexy even though he was filthy from work. i met him at the front door.. he didnt bring condoms.  didnt even care..

he was looking around my room looking at the pictures around my house of me. ugh! i told him to stop snooping.

i was tired i crawled back in bed.. he sat down.. my legs wrapped around him. i let him lay down.

he grabbed my phone calling his worker shit. i laid on his chest silently almost falling asleep. he played with my hair..

he finally got off the phone and held on to me.. he was tired up for 30 hours..

i asked him to take a shower with me.. he said his brother was calling him today and that he couldnt stay long he wanted to get sleep. i understood. i know he misses his brother.. if i havent mentioned it.. scottys brother is in prison for a life sentence. a homicide charge. i looked up everything and read about it on the internet. its crazy how much scotty got away with.. but anyway…

his hands felt good. it felt good just to lay on him. he stood up looking around again.. i got up and hugged him.. he picked me up with my legs around him and laid down with me on top of him.. he flipped me over kissing my neck kissing me.. FUCK i love him so much.

i love the way his hair smelled.. his huge hands on me. i was in heaven i wish i had that moment for life.

he told me he was going to go home get sleep and bring me some money for me to go pick him up on the border of ohio tonight. of course i will.. then he said 3am. BLAH. i dont really feel like staying up. but anything for him.

he told me hed bring me money before he left. love him.

i havent seen this side of scotty since the very beginning where i thought this guy was actually innocent and vulnerable enough to fall in love with a girl. i almost feel like hes slowly settling down to me. it took me SO long just to get this guy to say i love you. and not the "love you too" or the "you too babe" i got him to say all three words in a row.. and now i dont know.. just the looks in his eye makes me feel like he’s at that point with me.

he mentioned something about us never fighting.. or arguing.. or getting mad at eachother.. he started talking shit about mike my ex of course. asking me questions of my weekend without him.. i told him the truth.. and nothing happened of course. i think he finally realizes im not sleeping around like i used to.. i think since i stopped being the crazy whore and whore out on him all the time.. hes actually paying me the respect and attention i want.

he fingered me he bit my neck kissing me while i came in his hands.. he stood up and looked at the clock.. he said he had to leave to get sleep. as he was telling me it was getting about that time he readjusted himself.. he was hard from touching me. i couldnt help myself i wanted him to stay longer..

he facefucked me for lterally under 30 seconds and came down my throat. he warned me that he was going too soon. trying to throw in some lame excuse like "its been a while" since thursday scotty? not really. but i didnt say anything of course.

he kissed my forehead.. called me sweetheart and that he would call me soon. and that he loves me.

somethings different about that guy i cant figure out what. but its AWESOME.

he hugged me as he left and i laid down.. my aunt called to pick up my cousin who got sent home from school.. went and did that.. then came home ate.. probation.. therapy.. came back home.. drank a bloody mary with my dad and watched the glades.. and started burning CDs for my car and my friends who requested them..

scotty called again and told me to meet him down my street to pick up money for gas. him and corey were driving the truck.. babe got out and gave me 30 bucks.. he said he might need me to pick him up or he might not.

even if he has a ride back.. i still want to come get him.. but i know him hes so simple and easy he’d probably make me stay home.. unless he really needed a ride.

gosh i miss him even though i seen him 5 minutes ago. i have never seen this much attention.. this many phone calls.. this many appearances from scotty in so long.

i love how good its going. i hope it never stops.

-L