104. I’m sorry edit*

I’m glad that I wanted a few days to update because I didn’t know for sure exactly what happened. To start off though it’s pouring rain and I’m typing on my moms iPad.

Saturday night I was at home just chilling and Corey who I’m changing his name to c2 since there are two cirrus. One being my best friends husband and the other being the Corey Scotty works with. The one who Scotty works with will be c2 haha.

So c texted me about me coming over to smoke a blunt and I said of course no money or anything call Scotty and have him do it. He texted back saying Scotty is at the block party at the ave and him and rikki are fighting and that he was just getting dropped off. So he was there all day.

My girl Kelly. Who i babysit her kids.. Was at a wedding and said she would go to the ave. So I said look out for Scotty and text me if you see him and I told her if he’s with rikki I’m fucking done.

She goes up there and says it’s so packed I doubt I will find him. So I go up there. And as I walk up I see Scotty walking around to the front. He came up to me and said rikki might be here and that he lost her about an hour ago. Then Kelly outside came up to us from the gate.

I hugged her and we both went in. He pretty much just kept walking. After a while of standing there he comes back. I start drinking off Kelly and shit. We talked a little and then he said he spent all of his money. And he was just going to do his thing and try to have fun. So i said do whatever I don’t care.

The entire time I was looking for rikki. And I eventually told Scotty if she was there that I was going to leave. Then his drunk friend who is a girl arrived.

He told me he was going to drive her car home because she is wasted after they leave and that he would call me for me to come pick him up.

So I walked around with Kelly and her two friends one of the girls knew who rikki was so I had an extra pair of eyes watching out for me. We walk around and I keep looking to make sure I knew where Scotty was. His hands were all over his friend he’s known for x amount of years. I don’t care what pissed me off is my friends seen it. They were walking into the bar and I stood there withkellys two friends. Kelly grabbed him and cussed him out saying that I’ve been waiting around for him and shit. I didn’t face them i just didn’t care was ready to go. Then he tapped me to turn around.

He said he was mad at me for failing my drug test. Which i did but I go back in 30 days to take another one. Okay so? I get another chance I’ll pass the next one. And then he told me that I was too young and he is serious about my court and I need to stop. So i asked him if he’s done with me then fine. And he grabbed my face and made me look at him and told me he’s not done with me and that he will call me later to go get him. So I said I was leaving soon anyway to go to cirrus. It was already 1 am.

I went to Jennys party by myself. Even though mark and Jenny invited Scotty to come also. I get over there and mark tells me Jenny is in jail. He had a black eye. And that they were done. Wow.

As I’m sitting there mark tells me that I am always welcome to come party. Cool. I wait and wait.. No call from scotty but im testing Corey making sure we were still down to smoke a blunt. I got marks number and he texted me that I was so hot.

I ended up leaving to go to the store for cake mix for my mom and I to make for little kellis birthday. Ashleys daughter. I cried for two hours it was already 4am. Scotty blew me off.

What am I supposed to think I was thinking he’s railing that girl. I left out a part from the ave when he told me that there is nothing going on between him and the girl that they were just good friends a long time ago before their friend died,

So I balled. I no longer believed him. He promised to call and he didn’t.

I went back to marks after I smoked with Corey and Ashley after I got so high after crying my eyes out. I texted mark if he was still awake. It was now 6am. He was so I went over there. I stated I got locked out of my house since my key wasn’t in it’s usual spot.

After I sat down at marks with his friend I looked in my purse and found my key. But i was drained emotional and confused. I acted like I didn’t find it.

Mark starts testing me that he wants to kiss me and get rid of his friend to make him go to sleep. He was being a total cock block.

He finally went to bed at 730 I talked to mark some more we laid there and started making out. He came me total attention and said that he’s always liked something about me and he talked to me about Jenny as I talked about Scotty.

We fucked.

I was drunk. Drinking more. It was good, I was disappointed he wasnt as big as scotty. Very disappointed. But the guy ate me out. Which I figured could get me off. But it didn’t of course. Doesn’t know how to do it right. Then he told me he has a foot fetish. No buddy.

He was fucking me from the back and i was so uncomfortable. It just wasn’t right, and worse I thought of how bad I wished it was Scotty instead of mark. Also that I’m totally breaking girl code. And I should be at home planning for my nieces birthday party.

My mom called me. Love her. I got dressed and left. He begged me to come back after the party and sleep next to him. No.

I went home and laid down for a few hours. Woke up at two my mom let me sleep.

I went to kellis birthday. So many little kids and I was still so irritated thinking about Scotty ruining my night. Plus I was hungover.

I texted c while being at Ashleys and he said he heard that I was mad. I asked what exactly did he say and he just said there was a lot of people there and that I was angry at him. And that he was mad at me,

I told him a bunch of shit. I knew Scotty was there reading everything i wrote, I’m not stupid. If he wasnt there reading it he was going to tell scotty anyway. Guys talk like little girls.

I came home changed my facebook status to single. And watched shows with my mom then went to bed.

Woke up today from c testing me. He told me to find him a blunt and come smoke it with him. I said okay. Took me a while to find it. When i go to grab the ten dollars from c I pulled up and seen the van. I fucking knew it. Little girls setting me up. I walk in and Scotty stares at me. And c and Kyle looked at me. Give me the ten bucks. C hands it over I leave. Wow. Well i wonder who this bag is for. I’m irritated. I go to pick up chewy and we get the bag I drop him off and c texts me asking me to pick up a wrap. I texted back saying wow thanks for that surprise.

I drop chewy off and get back there and the van was gone. Sweet I’m thinking. I go inside. Kyle took the van to the store. Wow. Scotty was laying on the couch not where he was earlier. I sit next to his head. And he sits up and sits a little away from me. I put the weed in the grinder. And then I couldn’t turn it so well. Scotty asked if I had trouble. So I gave it to him. I’m staring at the tv screen. Him and Corey broke it up. Corey rolled a blunt. Scotty asked me if I’m mad at him.

I said what?

Corey starts laughing. Then Scotty said never mind.

Ten minutes later, I asked you if you were mad at me.

Wow, what do you think I was really mad at you yesterday. And even furious today. Shit sticks.

He didn’t say another word. Kyle comes back with the van. We light the blunt. They’re talking I’m just sitting there. Corey announces..

I can feel the tension in the air,, it’s getting hot in here I’m starting to sweat.

I didn’t say anything, Scotty said hes cool calm and collected. I still didn’t say anything, the way the blunt rotation went Scotty had to pass it to me, whatever i watched the movie.

It started pouring rain and thunder storming, I must add that I was looking extra sexy. Shorts and a cute ass shirt. Hair up sunglasses.. And flip flops. Since it was raining looks like I was stuck there for a minute.

When it lightened up Scotty and corey go outside to move the buffer. But I parked in the driveway. They moved up the van blocking me in and I had no idea.

Scotty had a ciggarette in his hand and I snatched it from him. He said it was his last cigarette, oh well. Then he asked Corey for a cigarette and let me keep it. Didn’t fight back at all.

After a while I get up said thanks to Corey for smoking then left as I walked out I said bye everyone else. He said later.

I’m blocked in the drive way by scottys van.

I sit there and Scotty comes up i tell him to open the door. And he sits down.

Ugh guys my dad just informed me that my internet is going to shut down since we have no power. The Internet battery is going to down. I have to update the rest later. But I promise ill be back soon. Bare with me. Love you all.

-L

Edit *

So power is back on. Gonna finish this for you all. He gets in my car and I’m just pretty much staring out the window. He asked me what I did Saturday night. I told him everything except me getting laid. And the I asked him what he did. He said he got sick throwing up from the beer and red bull. Cool. I asked him where he stayed and he said he stayed at johns. Cool.

He said he’s sorry. I flipped that table right back over at him. Sorry for what for humiliating me in front of my friends.. Promising me to call after you drop drunk and wanting to fuck Scotty homegirl off after I ball my eyes out for two and a half hours at corey and Ashleys. He asked me if I thought he was out fucking her. He’ll yeah I asked him what was I supposed to think. Then he says I got nothing to worry about. I do too I’m a girl how do I know she wants to fuck him? Because I want to fuck him all the time I did the same shit she is doing I am a female I know how it works.

He got silent after I kept going off about it. Then I told him I’m going up north for five days leaving on Friday. He sounded shocked and disappointed. Saying he had the day off. I told him well it looks like I’ll see you next month then. He asked me where i was up north. I told him 4 hours.

He said he’s sorry about Saturday and he promises me he will make it up. I went over the last five incidents of why I’m going fucking crazy. He fell asleep I bought him beer at the bar. He doesn’t buy me shit. He wants to hang out with some girl. He never calls me he says one thing and does the other. He told me he would try harder. I said for what you don’t care to try. You suck. You don’t care about me. You tell me I don’t care about you. You get pissed at me for smoking. Fuck that.

He kept grabbing my thigh telling me to stop being sad and angry that he will fix it like he always does. Yeah.. Okay.

I told him I won’t hold my breath. He could tell i was mad. Don’t get me wrong the whole Corey setting me up to come over and then I try to leave and Scotty blocks my car in before I could leave. Yeah I get the whole apology set up. Fine you’re sorry. Bt this incident makes me want him to literally chase after me. He should be blowing my phone up for me to listen to his apology. But he always let’s me cool off. There’s just no excuse not to call me. None.

Well he had to work. He hugged me. Kissed me. Said sorry. Whatever. I just act like it’s nothing. I’m still pissed and I won’t be happy. He wants to make up. Sure. Will it work? I doubt it. He wants to make up better be some dinner movie gas tank full jacuzzi suite hotel with bed and breakfast and he has to stay awake until I fall asleep making up. I ain’t bullshitting he better do something. Because this just ain’t cuttin it. I’m glad he knows that.

He said he would be upset too if I did it to him. He needs to open his full of shit brown eyes a little more and notice me. Because I can get the attention I want from anyone I please. His brain is just so damn small he doesn’t realize the only attention I fucking want is from him.

But whatever he knows I’m watching him closely. I knew he was over there I knew he was setting up my trap to talk to me. Okay he succeeded this game though will stop. I warned him I’m on the verge of breaking and he literally broke my heart by fucking me over like that.

So yay. That’s the events.

I guess we will see what happens. So yeah. Only time will tell at this point. I really don’t get him I really don’t.

-L