episode 65.

last night was epic. i had the most amazing time. cheesing the whole way through it. im going to melt through this whole entry just typing about it.

thursday night was chaos. last night was just so shitty at first but quickly turned around into one of the best nights of my life.

thursday kelly texted me saying shes going job hunting.. and wanted me to go with her. im totally down for bar hopping.. we went to a bar didnt drink she filled out an app.. then we picked up petey.. went to chatters i had one beer.. maybe two. went to the silver cricket.. strip club.. they were all full up.. so we just drank there.. petey covered it. at first i didnt want to go there because scotty always went to that strip club and ive always wanted to go with him. but i had fun.. some girls were hot.. others not so much. but it was fun

lately ive been spending time on this local radio website.. they DJ and stuff.. ashley introduced me. theres a chatroom we all go to and request songs to the DJ. the best DJ is QMan. we exchanged facebooks and got into talking about bars.. him and his wife wanted to hang out with ashley and i.. but ashley unfortunately couldnt come out. so they invited me to bumpers.. went up there and had a blast.. i spent no money but on cigarettes. i drank so much i blacked out.. but QMan was awesome we got to talking and he wanted me to come over one day have some drinks bring ashley and see how the radio show was done. sounds bad ass. Kelly and Pete loved their company.. cool peoples i love my life.

but i tended to fuck all that up thursday night.. i was so plastered i had them take me home early because i was desperate to pee. and i was so blacked out that i kept thinking about it and ended up pissing my pants when i got to my side door outside. not thinking right i went inside and just took off my pants and passed out. my dad woke up for work noticing a puddle. he was beyond pissed. but i had no memory. so i just played it off as nothing.

yesterday i woke up blah. went to ashleys got us subway and we ate at her house. it took as an hour and a half to get a sitter so we could go to QMans radio show. finally angelines girls pull through and ended up watching the girls. ashley got in the car and we started to drive over to Q’s. scotty called me.

i played it off that ashley wasn’t around me.. since we don’t need our business exclusive right now. but ashley knew of course. i told her details i just didnt want corey to find out. or scotty to know anyone knew but kelly.

we talked for ten minutes and i told him that rikki was uncontrollably blowing me up. he said he hopes to see me around 7.. okay i should be done with the radio show by then. he wasnt going to have transportation.. so i had to figure out a way to steal my car.

i told everyone including my parents i was watching kellys kid caleb friday night. they let me take the car even though they were extremely unhappy with me.. for the whole night. =]

the radio show was intense. i had so much fun i think im going to start getting into DJ. shit is just raw. and all of my tattoos are about music and stars. id go ape shit. Q Man even let me sit in the main chair in front of 5 computer screens and let me take over.. ashley and i had a few drinks.. then we were on our way.. they wanted me to come back but i explained to them i had to see scotty.. since hes going away for a while.

went back home and angie met me there to pick up her girls. smoked a shitload of weed then headed home to talk to my dad about taking the car. got back and he just told me i cant fuck up.. and i need to spend time with my mother. which i do. i really do. scotty called me and told me i should meet him at the pub in 15 to start our date.. and he reminded me to bring ID. =]

so i left i grabbed him. he asked about how i was doing.. told him im not doing so good.. getting too drunk lately. he had me take him somewhere because he needed to pick up money. i did. we drove to a room.. a different room this time. got there and just laid around.. he rolled up some red dragon weed. i was higher than shit. the best part about this specific day is that neither of us is drinking nor do we want to drink on a friday night.. felt so weird but 2462463534523 times better.

we kissed a lot. i told him i was mad at him.. and he said hes going to the store.. ended up taking my car.. he brought me back a mountain dew.. condoms.. and let me know i had about a half tank in my car =] ashley called me. corey was in the background.. ashley said corey was letting her go out but i kept saying i was watching caleb which hinted to her i was with scotty. so she said oh all night? and i said yeah probably.. corey starts BITCHING in the background "well how come she can watch every one elses kids but ours?! what the fuck?!" i even think scotty heard him say that.. i fucking got so pissed "are you fucking kidding me corey?! i come over there and see your kids more than YOU do. so fucking can it. you need to be a fucking father." ashley was the messenger on the phone so corey couldnt even hear me. ashley caked it up and i was already over.. i love you heff goodbye.

scotty shook his head.. and said thats just said. if he wouldve known i was with scotty he wouldve got even worse.. good thing. scotty asked me if i can pull up a local phone number. i asked what he needed.. and he said ford and wyoming. my eyes lit up so big! i went REALLY?!?!! hes taking me to the drive in. ahh i melted.. no way! its right on the edge of detroit so he said he wanted to drive me so i can play my cds and do whatever i wanted. he rolled up a joint and we called the drive in.. we decided we wanted to see Hall Pass. before we left to the movie i got so excited. i wanted to have sex.. so bad with him. im so tired of him not being the last. (because of Pat) he asked me if he was the last person.. i lied. i just didnt want any other fucks to get in the way. and besides when pat was fucking me i was texting someone thats how bored i was. he asked how do i want it first.. so i went for my favorite position of all.. from the back.. every time he first enters i lose my breath. he fucked me for a solid ten minutes waited until i got off and then stopped. usually he finishes with me.. but he didn’t. so hes driving me and were listening to my cds.. he looks so hot driving my car. he even sang with me =] loveeee him.

when we got there it was a long line. we were a little late to the movie. but when we got up to the window to pay she asked him something that costed more money i couldnt hear her.. and he said yeah get the works. she came out with his change and a rose.. he passed it to me! i put it on my dash. i was cheesing so bad. we were watching the movie and he held my hand through the whole thing.. he said he used to get blowjobs in drive ins when he was 17.. ten years ago.. and i told him he knew that id do that for him anywhere drive in or not. he told me he knew but he said he brought me here to watch a movie with me that hes been promising. he asked me if i was happy. i told him i cant even explain how happy i was. i told him i loved him a thousand times. he told me that im a good girl and i deserve anything i want.

we smoked a joint watching the movie. it was pretty funny. we were talking about the movie as these guys tried picking up chicks.. and he sa

id all you have to do is just make them smile. he told me every time i smiled his heart gets even softer for me. and that he loves me unconditionally. and if we dont work out.. that i will always have a place in his heart with him. this whole night i just felt appriciated. i told him all of the hard work ive done for him. .and he said i deserved the same amount in return.. after the movie he drove me home.. i texted kelly and ashley telling them about the rose and the room the drive in. it was fantastic. kelly wrote awwww thats super cute.. he asked me if he did good tonight.. i told him i texted kelly what he did.. and told him what she said.. he told me he’s not used to dates like this.. or being so sweet.. we stopped at a gas station.. he bought cigarettes and put another 20 bucks in my tank. he nearly filled it. i told him i havent seen the gage that high in so long. and then he told me this night is just for you.. whatever you want.. i want to buy you the world.

i got hungry and him and i got mcdonalds. since nothing else was open. we ate at the room.. laid there together.. talked more.. he said he hope he doesn’t go in for too long on tuesday since he for sure got his dearborn heights house. he said word for word "ima go in.. get out.. move out to dearborn by myself.. go through custody.. and get married." i asked him when the big day was for him and rikki. he laughed. not her. he said hes gonna try to get 7 wives. and asked me to be one. i said shit we both are freaks.. which we are. and i wouldn’t mind it.. just as long as im there which he knows.. but i told him i had to be with him first.. and im the only one who gets a rock on the finger.. he said of course i would. i know he was kidding about the wives. but the way he threw in that "and get married" at the end of his sentence made my stomach twist in a weird way. he never talks about marriage he said he would probably never get married.. but he also said he wants to by the time hes 30 to put a smile on his mothers face.. which is in three more years. i really dont know whats going on in his head about that. i didnt want to ask questions.

we started kissing a lot again. we banged this time he was on top of me. i was breathing into his neck. he started fucking me fast.. and by the time i was getting excited he was looking in my eyes kissing my forehead. i swear he mustve knew i was close because he started going really really fucking slow. almost teasing me. i got off uncontrollably i was squirming around in his grip.. he still didnt finish.. and laid down next to me..

okay.. then i asked.. how come you didnt finish either time? he said that this was my night.. just for me. and he always does with me he just wants the spot light on me. UGH SCOTTY QUIT! it was already 1am.. he had to be up at 6. i set my alarm for him. he fell asleep my hand was on top of his chest next to his heart.. and he put his hand over mine holding it.. fell straight asleep. i couldnt even sleep. i was so overwhelmed. too happy. he woke up about 30 minutes later to roll over.. when he did he kissed my forehead and then said "did i tell you i love you before i fell asleep?" i said yes of course after i told him i love him.. he told me he loves me again. his mouth was glued to my forehead.

again i repeat. the best part about this night is that we arent drinking.

he woke up a few more times rolling over or squeezing me tighter. 6am came around quick he stretched it out though.. and told me hes sorry hes so tired or he’d fuck me again and that he just wants to hold me. i was already sore.. i didn’t mind. he kept kissing me all over the place over and over. every word he tells me i fall in love with. every motion.. over and over.. by far the best night. his co worker picked him up and he got dressed.. left me some cigarettes a roach of weed.. and the last condom.

i expected him to get off before he was about to get locked up. but he didn’t. he said it wasn’t important. he told me don’t let anyone drive my car while hes gone. and told me to stop drinking so much.. that he would call me before tuesday. and a specific order to not drink and drive again. kissed me several times. then he said .. "and most important of them all.. i love you so much.." i rolled over to where he slept.. he put the covers on me turned on the heat.. and pet my hair when i closed my eyes kissed me goodnight..

can you say drool? that was the best night of my life. and we were sober. maybe i did change him up a little bit.. or the dui did. i couldnt fall back asleep.. i just thought about him.. about watching him sleep.. about obsessing over his body i can’t keep my hands off of. about the drive in.. the kissing.. the talking to me.. the dates.. the not drinking.. the emotional sex.. the ignoring of the private calls.. the rose.. the love of my life.

i dont understand how i could possibly get over him. this night was the date we’ve never had. the movie hes been promising me since we first met.. the actual date ive been dreaming about happened.

he asked me to not fuck anyone while hes gone… sounds like hes starting to get jealous and territorial. he used to not care and have me do whatever and whoever i wanted.. ive been waiting for this protective side of him to come out.

what a long entry. ill update tomorrow. i love all of you and your notes. =]

pictures…

first.. me and ashleys youngest.. kayli =]

the rose scotty got me =]