episode 63.

okay. now im pretty fucking pissed.

warning you now this entry is a rant.

for starters does any one remember ryan? moving in apartment right by me. ryan lead me on. i finally just fucking asked him what the dealio was. and he claimed he told me from the beginning we were just friends. so i told him he pretty much lead me on.. he said no he didn’t. what kind of guy that is just friends with a girl takes her out on valentines day? has her stay the night with him. kisses in the car and shit.. gets taken out.. all this talk and shit…? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! sounds like leading on to me.

so i told him that shit. he said he felt bad that i wasn’t going out on valentines and every girl deserves it. excuse me i dont need your damn pity party for valentines day. GFY.

ill say it again.. GO FUCK YASELF.

the end of ryan. he kept telling me hes sorry and that hes an asshole.. good luck buddy.. on to the next one.

i believe i have anxiety. i can never sleep when i have something to do the next day. and i think scotty helped me suffer through all of these emotions. speaking of him. blew me off no call no show. gee you never change scotty do you?

rikki however has been blowing me up. to be honest the only thing thats crossing my mind is he is seeing his ex girlfriend alison. who was before rikkis kids. way before me. she wants him back. because last time i seen him he said his phone was blowing up off the hook and asked if it was me. he said alison let the phone ring once and hung up showing her number on the ID and scotty deleted it. they broke up in 2006.

nope not me i dont call your faggot ass phone. im not 10 years old playing fucking phone tag. i was around the pub today but i never went in. i seen a van up there that looked like his. probably him who cares.

rikki is still blowing me up on private. oh joy.. scottys in jail on tuesday. wonder what sappy story or lie he will give me. corey told me he was at wellzys all day.. i know he wasn’t at home by the way rikki was calling about 50 times yesterday.

time to change my cell phone number. i am so sick of this..

my moms side of the family are all pissed off at me.

i hate everything about this house. this state. these pathetic fucking people. this drama of insanity. and these bullshit games and relationships. im sick of my phone ringing. my facebook. im sick of crying. of getting sick.. of gaining weight. im sick of being broke im sick of not landing a job. im sick to my fucking stomach

what the fuck is next?

im about to go fucking ham.

-L