episode 62.

is it wrong to feel like im pushing scotty to call me often? hes been keeping up with everything he’s been saying which usually i get stuck with him never calling and all of that me missing him shit.

but he just called me today like he said he would last night. talked to me for twenty minutes.. told me hes on his way to work he stopped off to call me from his boss’ house. and that everything got hectic and hes back on the strip tonight. he said he’d see me tomorrow after he wakes up and we’d spend a few hours instead of not even a half hour today.

okay.. you make me smile.. but what are we going to do?

he told me his cousin dave is in town from chicago and i should spend time with him tonight.. dave is my buddy. he contributed about 50% of the glue between scotty and i. so scotty said i should keep him company and tomorrow ill see him.

hes even reminding me of plans i already made?

when he calls me he lets me know that he told me he was going to call me.. to make sure i dont call him a liar..

i know hes just trying to point out that hes keeping up. and that he’s sorry. but i kind of feel like im being this huge bitch to him now. like treating him like shit in a way. but im not. i guess im just so used to being so nice and carefree with his actions.

i dont even know what im saying.

everything is so confusing. i feel hot and cold all of the time. it almost feels like im making up this guy i want him to be and trying to fit him in there and hes trying to make me happy by changing his ways.

im not used to getting phone calls from him so often. or even seeing him here and there.

or maybe i am used to it. and theres something different going on with us that i dont notice.

i have no idea.. blahhhhh

he said i love you on the phone though.. and he’d call me tonight to talk to me in between stores.

am i just dreaming or is he just trying to make me feel better before he goes to big bad jail..

which btw he went to court this morning but it was an arraignment.. april 5th is his sentencing.. which is probably 21 days.. he thinks 17 though.

oh boy what to do. just hearing his voice drives me crazy. him wondering what im doing all the time. im not used to that attention from him. it was always me all over scotty.

i dont know. off to watch detroit 187. thanks everyone for the awesome notes. =]

-L