06/07/2009
fridays bus was driven by the mountainous lesbian lady with the pierced eyebrow, pavarotti baritone and absolutely infectious cackle.
the halfwit with the (imitation) ferarri jacket and the too-cool hair got on and, as i ve noted every morning, demanded a dayticket. no please, no thankyou, just the word. "Dayticket".
luciano lesbo ABSOLUTELY shot him to shit. in booooming voice, she told him in no uncertain terms the error of his way, and reduced him to a cowering schoolboy wreck. this was funny. what was funnier was, in his haste to retreat from her wrath, he turned tail and walked straight into the metal luggage wrack thingy. and bust his nose.
PRICELESS.
unfortunately, there were only the two passengers to observe, instead of a bus full. my sparklesome eyes met those of the statuesque dental nurse, just long enough to share the moment. and just long enough for me to mentally window shop for eternity rings, and for her to realise a numpty was looking at her, and seek refuge in her Take a Break magazine.
anyway. i got to work and, as has been my way recently, commenced my half hours tai chi session, before starting the daily slog.
my body is screwed. shoulder has long since stopped co-operating. wrist is worryingly bad. everything hurts. i cant train anymore.
so i trained anyway. stupidly defiantly. and got into it. and found my rythm. and got my groove. and went from tai chi to kung fu. and started really having it..
and then realised, the Effing Company Chief Exec was sat there, in the shadows of My room. silent, and observent, and possibly bewildered, and maybe fuming.
but he wasnt. he was cool. and i was too Gonzic to be as embarassed as i probably should have been. so i talked crap at him, and taught him lap sau pak sau gwau choi.
Get in !
anyway..
friday was zoes last day. i was maybe more emotional than she was. shes supposed to return in september.. but God knows what’ll happen. i took her to our chinese for lunch. organised whip-round. bought vouchers. sorted her gas out. i feel i should rephrase that, but cant think of the words..
and she was off. and will be missed.
her replacement, sophie, started a couple of days previous. shes…. interesting. and she HAD to be called sophie, didnt she…
she had two seperate breakfasts, two seperate bacon sandwiches. and she likes music, and goes to lots of concerts. YAY !, right ??
no. boyzone. and westlife. and whatever other crap. arrgghhhh…
i randomly bumped into her in the street yesterday. and, half asleep, bleary eyed… i roundhouse kicked her in the head. without thinking at all. perfect control, stopped just short of the temple and held the foot there… but it was enough to scare her senseless, and for me to realise that i really shouldnt do things like that anymore.
i gave zoe the job purely on the strength of her oh-so impressive cleavage. that, and the fact she was the only applicant… sophie got the job because she used to work at my old place, despite the fact her cv, education etc, was all appalling. and…hmmm… i may have made quite a mistake there. we shall see..
oh yes…
Rebeequa texted to let me know she had got a job… finally… only temporary, but at least shes now sorted.. and i duly got a phone call asking for me to provide a reference. i talked absolute utter rot for about half an hour, making my absolute adoration of the girl apparent. and i feel that i ve, for once, actually been useful. go moi.
finally, work-wise…. i got a letter yesterday, from The Boss. thanking me for a whole years perfect attendance without a single days sickness, yet again. i was, scarily, embarassingly proud of that letter, and would have laminated it and stuck it on the wall in a fetching beechwood jewel encrusted frame.
had i not wiped my arse on it first. FFS, i askya… now that im obviously in such credit with the company, i ll maybe not feel as much guilt for taking all august off with the touch of the bubonics i feel comin on…
music news :
the minds made the top ten, the first time in 14 years… and i was ecstatic for them, and really felt part of something. WIN !!
i harassed mr ebay for my britney spears ticket. less than a fortnight to go, still no sign. he fobbed me off… and i may have to take steps there…
quite why i wanna see her, i have nooo idea. oh yes, i do… to photograph her, duh 🙂 she just MAY be my front cover, for swingin pants Vol 5 – Mondo Gonzo Bongos !
other gigs arranged… the luchagors (former wwf diva ! ), the birthday massacre (LOVE, and cant wait !! ), the cult !!!!!!! franz ferdinand ( i suppose), cruxshadows (quite cool gothy peeps, with serious eyecandy backing dancers), and placebo !!!! also, FLEETWOOD EFFING MAC are touring again !!!!! ( which will be a credit card job, ebay come to daddy… ), and, finally, muse !
nice social calender. betwixt these, my brothers playing at the south kirkby travellers fest (dont ask) which i shall dutifully attend… and i ve also booked for the yorkshire rock and bike show, and doncaster racecourse’s Tattoo Jam !! all should make nice photogprahic spectacles, making the next book a mix, for the first time, of legendary musical icons…. and dodgy (but cheap) pub bands.
perfectoso 🙂
and, apart from all that….
its dinner time x