Flirting with

My friend Missa’s son Larry had his birthday party yesterday from 1-3 p.m. and then Jimmy dropped me off at the mall around 4 so I could spend time with my sister, Kim, my niece Brittney and my nephew Joshua. We walked around the mall for a few hours (until it closed at 9 p.m.)and went into a few stores. Brittney kept trying to get me to buy her things (like a $40 backpack)but I said no and actually stuck to my guns this time. One of the stores we went into was the Disney store because Kim was looking for a blanket like the one Joshua has already (except that one has a rip in it – it’s got a Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal head with a blanket attached and the head has a small tear in it)but they didn’t have any. There was this really cute guy (we later found out his name is Justin)there who walked up to me and Brittney and asked "Can I help you two princesses with anything?" and we told him we were just looking around and he said to be sure and let him know if he could help. I smiled and said he was "Charming – Prince Charming!" and he smiled, bowed and said "Oh, well thank you very much!" and then he and I kept smiling at each other every time we saw each other. I had Brittney ask him what his name was (how I found out it’s Justin – or Prince Justin is what we call him or Prince Charming)and she even got him to let her take his picture with her cell phone. She’s going to send it to her mom’s phone and then Kim will e-mail it to me and I’ll be putting it on my Myspace and my Webshots. 🙂 It was funny – he looked at the picture on the phone and noticed Cinderella was behind him so he turns around and high-fived the picture of her on the wall and said "All right! Cinderella’s my girl!" This other guy (we think he was jealous because we kept flirting with Justin)came over to us after we came in for the 3rd or 4th time and asked if there was anything he could help us with. His name is Ben (or Jealous Ben as we call him)and he stayed and talked to us for a while. We call him Jealous Ben because he kept looking over at us while we were talking to Justin like he was thinking "What does he have that I don’t?" Anyway, it was time for the mall to close so we were leaving (Justin told us twice to have a "magical evening" )and I turned around and said to him "I’d give you a hug if I thought it would be okay." and he instantly opened his arms, smiled at me and said "I don’t see why not!" and then he hugged me and even squeezed me. 🙂 then he asked Brittney if she wanted a hug and she literally ran to him! They hugged and then we started to leave. I turned around and asked him if he was wearing cologne (I’m a sucker for a guy who wears cologne – Jimmy doesn’t wear it at all)and he held out his arm for me to smell. I smelled his cologne (amazing scent)and he smiled and asked me "You like?", I said "Mmm – I love!", he said "Oh, well I’m glad!" and then I asked him what kind it was. He told me it’s Lacoste. 😀 Then he told me to come back soon and be sure and ask for Justin. 🙂 I said "I will!" then said "See you later, Prince Charming!" and he smiled and bowed again. 😀 He’s blonde, blue eyes, tall and gorgeous! It definitely gave the old self-esteem a boost to flirt with someone and be flirted with. 🙂 All Jimmy does lately is insult me, then want sex from me.  I would call the store to talk to him (Justin)but Jimmy will be home soon and I don’t want him thinking I’m cheating on him when I’m not. I know he’d get mad if I told him what happened so I’m not going to. I just want to be friends with Justin, not leave Jimmy for him. I think I’ll call the store tomorrow when he’s at work and the kids are napping so at least I know I won’t have to worry about him getting the wrong idea. I just want to exchange numbers with Justin (Prince Charming/Prince Justin)and see if we can keep in touch and become friends. He seems like a really sweet guy and a lot of fun to be around. If the mall wasn’t so far away, I’d apply for a job in one of the stores since I love the mall. 🙂 Jimmy hates the mall (he hates everything he doesn’t think is "fun" – "fun" to him means anything outdoorsy. Plus, the employee discount would be great to have. 🙂 I’m so nervous about calling him though – I feel kind of like I’m back in High School again and trying to work up the nerve to call up a guy I’m crushing on. 🙂 I think if Jimmy would just appreciate what I do instead of putting me down, expecting me to put out, and making me sound like a horrible wife and mother I wouldn’t have flirted last night. It’s weird – I always thought flirting when you were married meant you cheated, but I guess you have to do things to boost your self-esteem when your spouse doesn’t. It felt nice to think that someone thought I was pretty and not just some sex toy. I feel like Jimmy takes me for granted sometimes and for one night I felt like someone was actually happy I was around. When I do call the store I’ll ask for him (obviously)and tell him thanks for being so nice, tell him I’ve been married for 7 years and have 4 children and ask if we can be friends, get his number, give him mine, see if he has a Myspace (it seems like everyone does now)…   

I have to go. Jocelyn is crying so I should make her another cup of formula and change her again.   

EDIT – Missa is seeing her lawyer tomorrow and she needs someone to watch the kids for her so I’ll be doing that until she’s done. Then we’re heading to the mall (same one of course)and meeting my sister and niece there (my nephew too, of course). Missa said after she was done at the lawyer’s that she didn’t have anything to do the rest of the day so I suggested we go to the mall. She said we’d have to take the bus which I said was fine. She was surprised considering I hate riding the bus and getting all the kids on it will be a huge pain in the butt but it will be so worth it. I love going to the mall – walking around, looking at all the stores, etc. But I have an ulterior motive as well. I want to see Justin again. I even wrote a letter to him to give to him at the store which basically says I’d like to become friends, that I’m married with four kids (which will be obvious tomorrow since they’ll all be with me), and letting him know I’d like to keep in touch with him because he seems like a sweet guy. I’m even bringing a blank piece of paper with me so he can write down his name and address and anything else for me. He seems like a really easygoing guy so I don’t thin

k he’ll get mad about me being married and a mom and yet flirted with him. I couldn’t help but notice my heart was racing as I was writing the letter though. I haven’t felt that nervous in years. Writing it made me realize Jimmy and I have been together since I was 20 and he was 23 and while I had had a lot of boyfriends before him (it’s not like he was my first anything)I couldn’t help but wonder what life would have been like if we hadn’t gotten together. Honestly, it would be empty. He was there for me when my mom was in the hospital, he took care of me when I had pneumonia in both lungs, got me whatever I was craving when I was pregnant with each child, is sweet most of the time, funny, I love him and he loves me, he’s someone who I can’t imagine going through life without. Justin I can’t imagine life without as a friend – Jimmy I can’t imagine life without romantically. It’s like I said earlier in this entry. I wouldn’t (and couldn’t)leave Jimmy for anyone – well, maybe James Dean (:))but since James Dean has been gone for almost 51 years (:()I don’t think Jimmy has anything to worry about.

Gotta go – Missa said she’d be here around 7 a.m. to drop the kids off and it’s now 4:26 a.m.