the small stuff is sweating me

I put a few more things up on Kijiji today. Things that are too big or pointless to cart all the way to Ottawa with us (ie, the air conditioner that is too big for our space by half an inch, a brand new firewood rack that I still have from when I sold Regal… ). I have a pick up appointment on Sunday for one of the items already and a nibble on another. I lowered the price of the first two I put up a few days ago. I need to move these things man! We will still have BOXES full of "sell stuff" to cart up there that we will get rid of one way or another at the yard sale we’ll hold at my mother’s in September but at least we’re sorting, right? We’re half way to purging! I can’t just cart it all to Goodwill when we need the money and it’s mostly a bunch of little stuff that I won’t be able to sell online so I figure this is the best solution. Just box it up and haul her out! We don’t have more than when we moved here so it’s not like I’ll need a whole ‘nother truck size or anything.

Oh yeah. I think I forgot to mention that we booked the truck. Did I? I don’t know. Anyway, it’s booked. $649 for the truck, $25 for the tow dolly and $49 for insurance. Then plus any additional mileage, plus taxes and plus gas. Yup. It will be about $1000 before we’re done. And then we’ll have to rent a truck AGAIN in a month to move it all to an apartment once our money situation is sorted. BOO. Plus I have to get the mail redirected… which costs money too AND is a problem all in itself since you have to do it for 3 months, 6 months or 12 months and you have to pay AGAIN to change the address even if your time isn’t up. So I’ll pay to redirect to my mom and then again to redirect to the new place. BALLS! I don’t even want to list the amount of money we have to dish out to be ready for this damn move… ugh.

BF stayed home from work today. He said he didn’t feel well, meaning physically. But I think it was more his mind and emotions that were unwell. He definitely was out of sorts today. Definitely not himself. After our evening out with his family last night, I think it’s setting in on him that we’re moving SOON and just what he’s leaving behind, etc etc etc. He said as much but I don’t think he has the words to express it just yet. He’s only got just under 3 weeks of work left and then he’s off for a month and then it’s a big move and big changes. I hope he doesn’t get depressed… I don’t know if I and we could handle BOTH of us being like that… He hasn’t shown that tendency so far though so hopefully… I have a feeling this signifies the start of what is to come in the next little while – the craziness of moving, the emotions of change. Perhaps some bickering and fighting as we find a new normal – which I think is normal. Just stress in general. Not fun.

Thankfully, I am having my 90 minute massage tomorrow at 6pm. I cannot WAIT. Hopefully I won’t be writing here tomorrow night because the blood flow to my brain will konk me out. LOL

*don’t look in the kitchen* Too many damn dishes to do… UGH First priority in a new apartment is a dishwasher I tell ya. No joke. Yeah, I guess it’s bad that we have such a problem with dishes but, you know, some people just have certain things that they hate doing or don’t do well at and dishes for us must just be one of them and I should no longer be ashamed of it! lol Embrace my laziness I say!

Yeah.

The details are plaguing my mind. UGH Those inglorious bastards. Ha. I’m not a Brad Pitt fan but I do like Terrantino. But I’m off topic. I know, I -KNOW- … don’t sweat the small stuff. I am TRYING. But I can’t stop thinking about where we’re going to park the truck overnight once it’s loaded and the Toyota attached to the back on the car dolly-thing – there’s not exactly room for that kind of truck in this parking lot and I don’t know about parking on the street… There are a LOT of bars about two blocks down… Then there’s all the little details of living with my mom and troll (brother) for a month *SHUDDERS IN DESPAIR AND HORROR* which looks to be the most logical option. *HUGE SIGH OF RESIGNATION*

Another thing that has been weighing on my mind is the good-bye situation for BF and his fam-damily. I know from my own experience how I felt when my mom left after helping me move here… and I can assume how the crazies are going to react… Anyway, I thought somehow to say goodbye on the Friday night after loading the truck (for which we will require CFBIL’s assistance) and then we can just leave with no hassles and less immediate heartbreake first thing Saturday morning. I wasn’t exactly sure how I would get this accomplished though since the crazies do not have their own car. It occurred to me tonight though that maybe we can all go for dinner out afterwards (who’s going to want to cook afterall) and maybe Aunt D and uncle C can meet us thereby supplying the car to take the crazies home and providing them emotional support as we part ways. Also provides us all with a public location so as to avoid CFMIL’s hysterics. She will thoroughly floor me if she keeps a stiff upper lip for the good of her son.

I haven’t told my stalker friend K that we’re moving back yet. To be honest, I’m enjoying the peace and quiet. She’ backed off quite a bit. Not sure why. Equally unsure whether or not I care. I don’t want to lose her as a friend but right now I just cannot put up with anyone else’s crap. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to. I have very little tolerance for my own problems and have to try VERY hard to tolerate my BF’s problems on top of mine so how can I be worried about hers. I think that’s where I’ve found some peace about the situation. I doubt very highly she will ever kick me to the curb no matter how bad I treat her. Not that I’m treating her badly but she has kept around far, FAR, FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR worse people than me for a LOT longer – it’s just the type of person she is, the type of habit I used to gently try to coax her out of, the type of thing that just pisses me off to no end right now. But I think I do need some space. Hopefully, I think she’s got that by now. Maybe in one of my better moments I’ll try to explain a bit more to her now that I know what’s going on with myself in that regard – maybe not. I’m confident we’ll reconnect at a later date. I just don’t want her to get married to that stupid troll nincompoop before I’m skinny because I don’t want to be fat in her pictures that she shows to everyone!!! Especially the old people from high school whom she still talks to even though they were poison to both of us. Anyway. I’ve been considering just showing up at her place on or around her birthday (in early September) and saying "surprise! I live in town again!". She’ll probably just be offended I didn’t tell her beforehand. Ehh. Whatever. Not going to worry about it now. A situation to tell her will either present itself or it won’t. I’ll go with the flow.

Today I am grateful…

* that my massage is tomorrow! oh God, I hope it’s good and blissful and that it relaxes me into oblivion

* that I’ve posted some sell stuff and had some nibbles

* that the library lets me renew my books online instead of having to go in

* that my massage is tomorrow

* that my massage is tomorrow 😛

* that it’s only LESS THAN TWO WHOLE MONTHS before the stress is OVER and all the questions are ANSWERED!!!