obvious genetic factor

Things seem to be coming along. BF got the hard copy of his acceptance letter from the college in the mail today. It doesn’t have some of the information that the Second Career place wants on it, so we’ll have to look into that… And we’ll have to look into some stuff about my support payments… UGH… I’m scared about that bit so I’m not going to go into it just now.

My mom saw our family doctor today (in Ottawa) and the doc has made an appointment for ME when I get back there – for the end of September. So that she can officially take over my care since the doctor’s here are really doing crap-all. She even had the front desk pull my file so that she could make some calls regarding getting me some treatment with a psychologist. Apparently it’s about a four month wait so she wants to get me on the list right away – by the time we get to Ottawa, it should nearly be time for my appointment with them.
This whole psychologist thing was an issue in my brain lately because… Well, BF has benefits at work presently which include $500 a year to a psychologist for each of us. You have to put out the money first and then get reimbursed by the insurance of course – BUT we’ve never had the "extra" to do such a thing with. Now that we have this credit card I thought FINALLY! once we move I can start seeing someone seriously in the new town. BF’s work told us in his termination letter that he could call the benefits company and get his benefits converted to a personal deal, not through the company anymore IOW. This, to me, means that the current benefits will continue but the person who pays them will change. Wrong. When he called the insurance, we were informed that we would have to start a whole new file and, subsequently, all of my current illnesses would not be covered because they were known about before the policy started. What utter bullshit. It’s a scam and it makes me REALLY mad. Anyway. The good news is that my new/old doctor will take care of the psychology part of my treatment too – she thinks there’s a study or something that will get me the sessions for free. God, I hope so.

The other news today from the doctor is that my mom has now been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes AND B12 anemia. JUST LIKE ME. She is on the "borderline" end between being "normal" and diabetic meaning that she IS diabetic (and that will never change) BUT it will likely easily be controlled with diet and exercise, withOUT meds. I’m still really worried about her… I mean, she is NOT fat or overweight by any means, she doesn’t smoke, she exercises and eats SO healthy. It’s ridiculous that she has diabetes. But it just goes to show you that it is NOT all about what you eat. It’s about how certain organs function. It worries me that – when you are diagnosed with diabetes, by that time it is guaranteed that your pancreas is already at least 50% non-functional. That worries me about ME and now it also worries me about my mom because she just last year had the pacemaker put in and I have this terror that all of her organs are shutting down now for no good reason… and that I will lose her soon. *sigh* I just don’t know what I would do without her at this point…

A more selfish aspect to all of this is that now I don’t feel so alone in my health problems. I have type 2 diabetes and B12 anemia and now my mom does too. She’s been noticing that she’s tired a lot lately and now that she knows why she might understand more about how I feel physically all the time. She’s been on my case a lot about getting enough sleep and how could I need another nap and how could I sleep such odd hours, yadda yadda. I mean, I’m not HAPPY that she’s got illnesses by ANY means but I was starting to feel like a leper. I have all these weird things wrong with me… weird anxiety issues, a tumor on my pituitary gland, PCOS, B12 anemia (there’s a bigger name for it but I can’t spell it LOL) and diabetes stemming from all of the above. I know my mom has always been sympathetic but she never REALLY understood. Not that I want her to understand. I think maybe it’s more the now obvious genetic factor that makes me feel a tad better about my own situation. 

Anyway, now three people in my family have diabetes including me… weird…

My CFMIL is also diabetic but, even though I told her specifically that her doc (who is not very good and tells her what she wants to hear; I used to see him too – until he "lost" my file) would tell her she’s "borderline" and that the diabetic centre said that there is no such thing as being borderline diabetic (it’s like being a little bit pregnant) AND HE DID tell her exactly that, she refuses to admit it. See if I care. She’ll go on to eat everything she always did and not exercise and be on insulin in no time. Then she won’t be able to deny it. She just aggravates me SO much. ARGH. But only two more months of her!! WHOOPEE!! I can take it!! 😛

Anyway, speaking of the crazies… I think I’ve mentioned before that they wanted us to go out with them and an aunt/uncle for father’s day and this uncle’s birthday. I have an issue with this because I don’t have a dad, neither does BF, and I don’t particularly want to sit around and celebrate someone else’s father. It just points out even further that my dad is not here. Now it’s not really that touchy of a subject. But it’s hard to avoid the fact that it’s FATHER’ S DAY and my father is not around anymore. And June is generally a bitch month anyway because my dad’s birthday was on the 11th and the day he died was the 23rd – with Father’s Day in between. Woo. Fun month. It doesn’t really bother me too much anymore. It’s been nearly 20 years. …omg… wow. But still. I have a problem with it. I’m sorry. It’s like cemeteries. The people aren’t there anymore. It’s just creepy to stand 6 feet above rotting carcasses and lament. BLECH. Sorry if that offends anyone but I firmly believe that those who have departed are all around us at all times and that we don’t have to go to the spot where they’re shell is decomposing to be close to them. It would make more sense to me to go to a favourite spot where you spent time together… But anyway, if you want to go because it makes you feel better then all the power to you. Just don’t expect me to follow suit.

ANYWAY… that was a tangent. 

BF had originally told his mom that we do our own little tradition on father’s day (we go to a buffet breakfast and then take a walk in a particular park in Niagara Falls, taking pictures, etc) and that we don’t really want to go on Sunday for the reasons I mentioned above. Well, some of them. LOL She said she wanted to take us out to dinner another night then (because she won $2000 at bingo). Fair enough. Then all this school and moving news came out and I started thinking that maybe it would be better to see them for the first time after this news in a group so that it doesn’t get hairy and all weepy (as CFMIL is wont to do), so that people can ask questions and answers can be given in a neutral setting, and so that BF can have some more time with his family and aunt/uncle/cousins before we move away. He doesn’t see his extended family often but I’m sure he would like to see them more before we go. On that note, I really hope SOMEBODY offers to hold a going away bbq or something so he can see everyone… that’s what my family would do… but I doubt it. I am hopefully, but I doubt it. And, unfortunately, I can’t hold one here as we have no bbq and really no space other than a back yard shared with 20 other units.
So, I think we will go on Sunday for the family get together. I have changed the date of father’s day to Saturday in my head so it is okay to go out on Sunday. It doesn’t hurt that CFMIL will be paying for us with her bingo winnings – nor that we’re going to The Mandarin for Chinese food. 😛 *grin* LOL

Thankful that…

* my mom is HERE and that the doctor is taking good care of her!

* BF got his letter of acceptance today – can tell it makes him feel SO proud!

* ONLY TWO MORE MONTHS OF THE CRAZIES!!!!!!

* my next two series books were in at the library and we picked them up tonight