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I have had the same difficulty in my experiences writing on here – people commenting with their opinions when they don’t know the full extent of feelings or the nuances of relationships. I’ve come to the conclusion that if I choose to write here (which I don’t always do :-P) I can’t expect people to fully understand what is going on in my world. They comment on what they read – based solely on what I *choose* to share – because that is what this forum is for. So, I understand your frustration and I am truly saddened to hear that you feel I have been judging you. i would have hoped from "knowing" each other as long as we have that you would know me better than that.

I care only about what is best for you and, from what I have been reading, your relationship with this guy is not working for you. To me, that means a change is in order. However, I firmly believe you are smart enough and self-aware enough to have thought this through from every angle. I am confident you will do what you need to do no matter what anyone says. You will find your own way.

Like I mentioned in my other note – if you feel there is some advancement or progress with the situation, imo it is worth pursuing. It is worth pursuing until the detriments outweigh the benefits, imo. I don’t know whether or not this guy deserves happiness or something/one good in his life – I don’t know him, but I do have confidence that you wouldn’t put so much stock into someone you didn’t think was worth it. I just hope he realizes how lucky HE is that you haven’t given up on him.

My only concern is that you don’t get what you truly want and need back from him (or any other dude). From what I have been reading, it sounds like you are definitely not getting what you truly want and need from this guy and that makes me sad. I’m sure he has valid reasons and that there are things I don’t understand fully; I just know that YOU deserve EVERYTHING – yes, everything – that you want and need and I want you to have it. In relationships there ARE sacrifices and compromises, don’t get me wrong, but in my experience if you sacrifice or compromise on the bare bones of what you truly need and want the seeds of resentment and failure grow. I mention this, not because I think you haven’t already considered the idea, but because sometimes it hits a different chord coming from an outside source/friend.

With all that said, for what it’s worth, I support you whatever you choose to do at any point in your life. In this forum, I hope that sometimes my choice to comment on certain things you write about aids you somehow in your thought processes. Please know that it is never my intention to make you feel judged.

*BIG HUGS*

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April 13, 2009

*hugs back* I’m sorry if I seemed harsh against you. I know you aren’t really judging me. Actually I used the word judge because of the way a different reader criticized the method of communication I chose to have this convo in (texts rather than face to face). I know you have my best interests at heart, as I have yours…We do go back a ways, eh? lol Thank you for your opinions. I love you! 🙂

April 13, 2009

Ryn: I added you!