8:38
july!!
the clock is ticking down… i had my last day of elementary school today. i’m always so frantic running around to all my elementary schools, and at this point i’d been going to the 7 different ones every day for a month straight… so i was all ready to be done with it. but finally when my last class was over, when i was leaving, getting in the car, pulling away, i guess it all kind of hit me. i got super sentimental all of a sudden. i really do love my elementary school kids… they’re so bright and inquisitive; it’s that perfect stage of hilarity and creativity (you know, before they get all shy and moody during puberty). and the looks on some of their faces when they found out it would be our last class together… the look of betrayal! it killed me a little inside. i’m so spread out, i go to so many schools and i have to keep so many different things straight in my head… that’s the overwhelming part, that’s what i won’t miss. if only i had just one or a few schools it’d be different, but elementary-level english teachers in japan do not have that luxury. when i’m so scattered it’s easy to forget how on an individual, hitori-hitori level i really mean a lot to these kids; they really look up to me and adore me for reasons i still can’t quite wrap my head around… and just. :(. it’s the end. goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, i really will miss you a lot. thank you for everything you have given me. the little drawings, the random crafts, the notes that get thrust into my hands… i’ve kept it all, it’s all coming back home with me. it means that much to me. <3
notgonnacry. i had my final day at higashiyama on wednesday… that was killer too. the entire drive up the mountains i was psyching myself up, telling myself i was going to hold it all together… yeah i made it until 8:42 AM. ~_~ they held a special morning assembly for me… and all the kids sang a song, and i had to give a little nervous-as-fuck speech at the end and i just couldn’t hold it in. i love that school, i love those kids, and the thought of handing it all over to another ALT who will take my place while i have to go on and move on — i won’t get to see them grow up — i want so much to see them grow up. when i think how much ryuujirou has changed in just that 2-3 year period, i want to see his younger brother shintarou do the same. would he start to appreciate me the way ryuujirou did? i’ll never get to know. the memories i have of them will be frozen in time; while they go on and become teenagers and adults i’ll still be thinking of them as they were when they were children… it’s too strange, how the world works.
so this is it now, just two more final weeks at chuubu… two weeks to say goodbye to everyone. ohh i hope i don’t cry for chuubu, that would be embarrassing. it’s okay at higashiyama because everyone is so closeknit but there’s like a billion kids at chuubu and for ALL OF THEM to see me cry? no way. noooo way. can’t let that happen. nope nope nope.
19 days.