Barging In and Possible Betrayal

I received a message from one of the Fanfiction.Net and LJ members on Thursday, January 20, 2011.  It was not the first time _the_grey_lady_ (Xx the grey lady xX at FFNet) had barged in and attacked when I wasn’t even talking to her.  Grey Lady and her real life friend, Speciousnaivete (DeceptiveInnocence XIII at FFNet), also share accounts at LJ and FFNet called GreyInnocence.

Since August 2010, I’ve had problems with one LJ member a month, and the first one happened to be Grey Lady.  Well, for this latest one, it was her again.  After an LJ member’s message last month, I had been afraid to post in fear of everyone getting upset and fed up with me and being self-centered.  Now this last one in January 2011 made it worse.  I’m sorry for all the complaining and attacks.  The problems were all with LJ members, but most of them occurred at Facebook and FFNet.

On August 16, 2010, LJ member, Miss_gryfiindor (Miss Sammi Potter at FFNet) wrote on Facebook, "Alright fine. If I can’t write this, I’ll work on something you wouldn’t approve of."

I replied: "What are you having trouble writing? Is it one of the fanfics? I hope the writers block goes away."

Sammi’s Friend (not on my Friends List) attacked: "Maybe if a CERTAIN SOMEONE weren’t making Sammi’s life miserable, she wouldn’t have writer’s block."

I quickly apologized: "Sorry if I’m the one making your life miserable." This made me afraid that I was upsetting Miss_gryfiindor or Sammi, especially since no one replied.  I already found it rude of Katie to reply when I wasn’t even talking to her.

—–

A few days later, Sammi posted on FB regarding the latest "Harry Potter" movie:
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HEDWIG DOESN’T DIE IN THE MOVIE? WARNER BROTHERS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

That led to discussions about the books and movies, especially the deaths, and how we were unhappy about them.  We also said how the death was a symbolization.

I stupidly posted:
"As much as I don’t want deaths, I don’t think they should change it in the movie. I usually like books better than movies. Many people have complained about Hedwig’s death, and I agree that it was unnecessary. As we were talking about the other day, Hedwig shouldn’t even have died in the book.

As for loss of innocence and security, and other symbolic stuff, they should just forget about it. I prefer to just enjoy a story for what it is without thinking of all that figurative language and symbolism. All those analysis we did in high school English classes were a waste of time, and really ruined stories for people."

Again Sammi’s Friend rudely attacked:
"I think an author should do anything they want, and that includes symbolism. Saying authors should just "forget about it" because YOU don’t like to analyze things is kind of idiotic. J.K. Rowling wouldn’t have put Hedwig’s death in the book… if she didn’t think it was an important way to show Harry leaving childhood and losing his innocence, and I don’t think they should belittle that in the movies.

Be that as it may, Hedwig IS going to die in the movie, Mugglenet made a mistake."

My evil, self-centered, and narrow-minded reply was:
"Sorry if I was unclear. I was saying that they should keep Hedwig’s death in the movie.

I don’t like using caps lock since it’s yelling, but I will use it to emphasize something. All right, I know I’m bad at explaining things, so I apologize…. About the "forget about it," I’m NOT trying to say that the authors can’t express themselves or have ways of giving messages. I’m saying that I often see people making too big a deal on it. I like analyzing, too, but not to the point where it’s stressful or causes debates and conflicts.

Analyzing can be fun, but in some of my English classes, we overdid it to the point where many people didn’t understand things. The symbolisms were often very subjective and didn’t make much sense. Some of the teachers used that chance to give students bad grades.

I wasn’t the only one who didn’t like all that subjective and confusing analyzing, so saying "you," especially in caps lock, offended me. Actually, it was some of my classmates who said that analyzing a story too much ruins it.

Sorry if this reply is rude and mean, and if I offended anyone. I myself do not take well to attacks, yelling, or false accusations. I also wanted to clear up what I was trying to say.

I forgot to mention something. I also don’t take well to deaths, so in a way I was upset that they used deaths to symbolize things. Since we were on the topic of one of the deaths, I kind of got too narrowed in on that, which also affected my explanations. Once again, I apologize if I attacked anyone."

—–

At the same time, Sammi had been posting a fanfic, and on August 18, Grey Lady left in her review, "I hope that person stops harassing you."

Afraid she was talking about me, I quickly send PMs apologizing to Sammi and Grey Lady for possibly harassing and bothering them, but received no response.  When people don’t say anything after I apologize, I fear that they are really upset at me, but don’t want to say it.

At first, I thought the FB Friend was one of Sammi’s real life friends, but there had been something familiar about her writing style.  After looking at her profiles at FB, FFNet, and LJ, I found out that she is Grey Lady.  I’ve seen some of her fanfic reviews and LJ posts as well, and she has left some harsh and rude comments in them.  Quite a few times, I commented on Sammi’s posts, she would reply when I wasn’t even talking to her, and it was none of her business.  Grey Lady was acting like Sammi’s bodguard.  Since then, my view on Grey Lady has been unpleasant, and in my eyes, she is a verbal criminal.

In June 2008, Grey Lady had problems with a writer at an adult fanfiction site after leaving a review, which upsetted the writer.  After reading her review and the problems regarding it, I felt it could be less harsh and rude.  For example, she said things, such as "it’s just retarded."  At first, I thought Grey Lady was trying to be helpful, and felt sorry for her.  I almost wanted to add her to my LJ Friends List, but felt suspicious after reading her following posts, so I held back.

In the following months, I also saw her post LJ entries commenting fanfics, movies, and other stories, and they contained quite a few cuss words and caps lock. 

I also read some of her fanfics, and they weren’t written well either.  It was the same with her LJ profiles for both accounts of _the_grey_lady_ and GreyInnocence.  Her profiles and many posts are often rude and opinionated.

She even said that she was blunt without sugarcoating.  Well, you can be straightforward and polite at the same time.  Being polite doesn’t mean sugarcoating, and in some LJ entries, she also said that she doesn’t seem to take criticism well.  After Grey Lady’s FB and FFNet posts in August, I was glad I never added her to my Friends List. 

Miss_gryffindor (or Miss Sammi Potter) is also an active fanfic writer, who posts new stories and updates often… well, often in my eyes.  However, I tend to find her stories abrupt and rushed with too much OOC.  She even got time lapse and real life information wrong, especially when it came to medical school and healthcare.  Some of my friends were also saying the same thing outside FFNet.  I pointed the mistakes out to her in reviews, and even apologized if I had offended her.  In a FB PM, she said that she wasn’t offended by my comments, but thinks over what I said.  For awhile she even said in her FFNet profile that flames and other comments have been helpful for her.  Whenever I point out her mistakes or say what I didn’t agree with, I complimented her writing at the same time.

On January 19, 2011, I left some more reviews for Sammi’s fanfics.  Unfortunately, the next day, January 20, Grey Lady sent me this rude and attacking message with lies and false accusations:

"You do not get to decide if it’s all right for a couple to have children. That’s ridiculous. Just because you find it weird doesn’t mean you should put it in a critique of a story. You always make Sam mad when you review her stories because you say a lot of things that really don’t matter and are just being nitpicky. You also are not the creator of the characters and therefore do not have absolute authority on what is or is not in character. I don’t find it out of character at all for Eiji to grab a bike in a toy store and start riding it around. And just because you went to med school does not mean you know what every med school student does during school. Stop assuming you know everything about everything. You don’t, and when you act like you do you just make yourself look like an idiot."

I know this is evil and wrong of me, but I couldn’t help attacking back after she had really angered me enough:
"I NEVER said that a couple can’t have children. I’m just expressing my opinions on what I feel. As for nitpicky, you are the one who’s nitpicky. I’ve seen your LJ entries and comments in other sites, and they are nitpicky, even rude. So shut up hypocrite!

I KNOW I did not create any characters, but there is still a certain way the authors or artists create them. I’m saying that they fans did not follow the original authors.

I ALSO NEVER SAID I know everything about med school. I only said what I know, and those are the things I know. SO SHUT UP YOU BIG FAT LIAR!

As for reviews, I have said to Miss Sammi Potter ‘I apologize if I offend you’ or something similar. I’ve even sent her PMs of apology, and she said that she was NOT OFFENDED and that she takes what I said into consideration. This shows that either you or she is lying to me. You are lying by saying that she’s mad at me, or she is lying by saying she wasn’t offended.

You also need to learn to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! I’ve seen you reply to people when THEY WEREN’T EVEN TALKING TO YOU. If they’re not talking to you, then stay away and out of whatever they post. For example, if Miss Sammi Potter is upset at what I say, then SHE SHOULD TELL ME HERSELF instead of saying that she wasn’t offended.

Sorry I’m really being mean and attacking you, but I don’t take well to false accusations or people interrupting or whatever when I’m not talking to them. Your message was also attacking to me when I didn’t purposely attack, and Miss Sammi Potter had said that she wasn’t offended."

—–

I also send apologies to Sammi, and told her how displeased I was with her behavior.  If she didn’t like what I said, she should have told me herself instead of saying she wasn’t offended, then talking behind my back and having others attack me.  I reminded her that there are reply buttons and links.

DON’T RUB IN how wrong I was to attack back, report, and block Grey Lady, but I had enough of her rude messages, and this message really set off a panic attack and appetite problems that lasted for hours, and still keep coming back.

Regarding fanfic reviews, I have seen many readers say things similar to the ones I did, such as:
-"I can’t imagine so and so doing this and that."
-"You should do more research before writing about certain topics."
-"I don’t like _______"
-"The characters are too OOC."
-"This doesn’t make sense."
-"I’m against this pairing."

Why doesn’t that verbal criminal go attack those readers? Some of the things I mentioned, such as OOC content, the hypocrite even said them herself in her reviews for other writers.

As for "you do not get to decide" what should happen, I’ve seen her write in her profiles and entries subjective things that she said are supposed to happen, acting like she knows everything. She even expressed them strongly, as if she were forcing people to follow her ways.  For example, she has written entries with rules for pairings, such as what pairings are correct, and which positions each character should have.  There were also entries about how wrong it is to make OCs as the main characters of fanfics.  In those entries, she made it sound like those who think differently are wrong.  Now, isn’t she deciding what should happen in others’ fanfics?

I am just glad I never added Grey Lady to my Friends List, and that I don’t trust people.  Sammi has been on my Friends Lists, and I really don’t like saying bad things about my friends, but I had to in order to explain the situation.  Actually, I’m not even sure if she should be considered a friend or not after all thise.  Either Sammi lied that she wasn’t offended and found that flames were helpful to her, or Grey Lady lied about making Sammi mad.  Both of them could have lied.  Maybe Sammi wasn’t happy for awhile to receive complaints, but thought it over, and Grey Lady said that I was just making her mad.

I’m sorry if you are Miss_gryffindor’s or _the_grey_lady’s friend.  I’m not saying that you should stop communicating with them, but just telling my side of the story.  Remember, NO RUB-INS! I know it’s wrong and evil of me to say and do all

those things, but I couldn’t help it, especially since they triggered a panic attack and gave me severe appetite problems.  I don’t take well to false accusations.  It’s also stupid, irresponsible, and self-centered of me to express my opinions on people’s fics and not realize that people didn’t like what I say.  I had thought it was all right since many other readers said similar things, and I wasn’t attacking her.  I even left compliments at the same time.  I also don’t need anyone rubbing in that I was violating Grey Lady’s freedom of speech by asking her to mind her own business and not barge in when I wasn’t talking to her.  Right now, I felt like the worst person in the world, and wish I were never born.